


Pure of Heart

by MagusLibera



Series: The Light in the Darkness [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Arrow (TV 2012) Season 4, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Flashbacks, Lian Yu Island (Arrow TV 2012), Married Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, S4 Flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23072881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagusLibera/pseuds/MagusLibera
Summary: Just as Oliver and Felicity had begun to settle into their lives and make plans for the future, Amanda Waller came and shook up their lives once again.Now, Oliver finds himself back on Lian Yu, fighting with everything in him to complete the mission and get home to his girl without giving himself over to the darkness inside of him. Felicity is left behind, trying to figure out where her husband has gone and how she can get him back even as she finds herself sinking deeper into the mystery of the corruption within QC. Finding one another again may require drastic measures that they never thought they would take.
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Series: The Light in the Darkness [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534367
Comments: 125
Kudos: 136





	1. I couldn't breathe without you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I would like to start of by thanking everyone for their patience in waiting for this, and for all of the wonderful comments that you left on UDC. You are the best! I owe you all an apology as I know that I said I would post this in late February and I really did intend on posting on the 29th, but life got in the way and so it's a bit late. I would rather be late to give you something that I can be proud to share than to be on time but with something that I will hate later on.
> 
> If you haven't read Under Different Circumstances, I would highly recommend doing that before reading this - just click the link above to read Part 1 of The Light in the Darkness - as this picks up right where UDC left off and there are some things that might not make sense otherwise. Though, if you don't want to do that, you can still give this a go - I'm sure you can figure out what's happening.
> 
> All of the chapter titles are from 2WEI's Survivor.
> 
> Anyway, I'll stop talking now and I'll see you all at the weekend for Chapter II!
> 
> [UPDATE 17/03: Due to current events, I’ve been delayed in getting chapter II posted. I’m working on it but I also have some other things to work on, so I’m hoping to get this posted soon but cannot give a date just yet.]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver fights like hell to finish what Waller has asked him to do and get back to the love of his life.

**Chapter I – I couldn’t breathe without you**

He hits the ground too hard, crashing down with so much force that it makes him cry out in pain. He opened the parachute too late, he had been unsure as he fell, never having been kicked from a plane before.

As soon as he hits the ground, he is assaulted by familiar smells. The salty spray of the sea, the fresh scent of tussled soil, the musk of the forest. Something buried inside him slips back into place, the fear and confusion of being torn from Felicity taking a backseat as the cold awareness of his survival instinct takes control, cataloguing the situation.

There is no time to acclimate himself, no chance to get his bearings. In the very second that he has righted himself, rolling into a crouch, the cold tip of a gun presses against his head. Camo, Kevlar vest, semi-automatic. That is all that he needs to know. He twists up, disarming the man with a swift series of moves that brings him the advantage and before he can think better of it, his hand is wrapped around the hilt of a knife and it is buried in his attacker’s chest. For a moment there is no feeling, no reaction, the cold blooded killer from Hong Kong having taken over entirely as he stops moving with the knife still in his hand, the threat a deadweight hanging from the end of it. But then there is a flash of blonde, a breathy whisper and azure eyes and a stab of guilt hits him in the exact place that he hilted the blade.

How could he so quickly go from the man making early morning love with his incredible wife to the monster who murders without remorse? It makes him feel dirty, it makes him feel like every time he touched her has been hurting her, tainting her. It makes him feel like a liar, like he has been anything other than genuine when he is with her. Her fierce eyes cut through his thought process, every time she has told him to stay safe, to come home to her, to _live_ rushing back to him and he knows that his fears are untrue. He has never been more himself than when he is with Felicity, he has never been so honest with anybody else. She would not want him to dwell on what is already done, she would want him to _fight_ , to get back to her no matter what the cost might be.

This is Lian Yu. The cost will be high, but nothing could ever be as bad as a life without her.

*************************

Without another moment’s hesitation, he leaps into action, unzipping the backpack to find the communications device. A short analysis tells him that, whilst it may be difficult, he might be able to repurpose it to get a message out to Felicity. He needs to get a message to her. If Waller had been so capable of taking him without any difficulty, what might she have done to Felicity? It is not hard to imagine that Felicity’s skills would be far more advantageous to Waller than his own. It is not difficult to picture what Waller might force Felicity to do for her. He needs to check that she is safe, and she needs to know that he is alive and fighting to get back to her.

A plan quickly forms in his mind. Waller must have sent him here for a reason, and he would bet anything that her reason has something to do with the new settlers like the man he first encountered. But she was right, he knows the terrain. He knows it better than anyone. He is maybe the only living person left who has survived this place for more than a year and in the two years that he was trapped here, he mapped out every inch and every trap. It is unlikely that his new targets have done the same, though he is unsure as to how long exactly they have been here.

A short while is spent casing the encampment. There is no doubt that there is some sort of human labour going on, but the reasons behind it are still unclear. He has to get closer. There is no way that he will be able to get home without first learning more, he is going to have to expose himself. With a great deal of reluctance, he removes the ring from his finger and slides it onto the waiting chain around his neck, letting it drop under his top so that it rests over his heart, the weight a reassuring reminder of the woman he loves.

Staging a mine encounter is easy, as is reverting his countenance back to the frightened but still arrogant castaway he had been three years ago. It is almost frightening, how naturally he becomes that person again and it makes him flinch to think of what he used to be like. To know that Felicity would not have given that man a second look. But it works, and these men – dressed in camouflage uniforms and holding large guns just like the first one – fall for it. They are not willing to offer him a ride home, a long shot but one that he felt obligated to try anyway. Though it is probably for the best, Waller would never let him get away with giving her orders the slip and he fears that she would take it out on Felicity. However, what they are willing to do is to give him a job in exchange for a bed.

They provide him with the gear and the clothes, showing him to a bunk and he morbidly realises that all of this belongs to the man whose life he took only a few hours before. They were even of similar height and build. It feels wrong to be stepping into the life of somebody he took life from, but there is no other option. He has to get home.

Oliver removes the freshly torn top from his torso, mind flashing back to a memory of Felicity wearing it herself, still sex flushed and blissed out, and instead of throwing it out, he folds it carefully, tucking it beneath the thin pillow on his bunk for safe keeping. The rest of his clothes, he is less bothered about but he cannot help but pause before donning the tight black undershirt he has been provided with to stare at the unblemished ring resting over his scarred chest. He takes a deep breath, thinking of his girl as he always does, and then pushes past any tenderness remaining and truly begins his new mission.

*************************

His new life is difficult. The experience is very different to the weeks following his return to Starling all those months ago. He is constantly on guard, even in sleep as he can feel the presence of the other, mistrustful men in the room around him. It is a stark difference to the nights that he spent wrapped around Felicity, oblivious to everything in the world that was not the warmth of her embrace, her smile, her kiss, her little sleepy snuffles. His heart aches to think of her, to not know whether she is safe or not, whether Waller has a hold on her or not. He has first-hand experience of the way that Waller treats her unwilling ‘employees’ and the thought that Felicity might be experiencing that is almost too much to bear, but instead of allowing it to cripple him, he lets it fuel him. Sparking his need to get to her, to save her.

It does not take long for him to get an idea of what Reiter is doing on the island, of what the people he has forced into slavery are making. Figuring out why Amanda Waller has taken such a specific interest in one particular drug and its dealer is not so simple. There must be more going on that he does not know about.

His role is fairly simple, he just has to patrol around the fields and ensure that none of the prisoners can escape. In his days wandering, he starts to notice a hierarchy within the ranks of the prisoners. There are several members, including a man and woman who must be a similar age to him, who the others all seem to look to. They are the ones that speak up to try and get better conditions and who help the other more injured and exhausted workers. A hierarchy like that spells trouble for Reiter and his men, it could easily develop into an organised riot. If Oliver were actually working for Reiter, he would point it out. As it is, a rebellion from Reiter’s work force could actually help him out.

Most of his time is spent thinking about Felicity. Worrying about her. His blood pressure is probably through the roof, his state of high anxiety is so persistent but he is unable to help himself. He hates every second of uncertainty, of being helpless but it also means that it is that much easier to cast aside the morals that have held him back in the past, that would make surviving a second stint on Lian Yu that much harder. There is nothing that he would not do to see her safe and he has to get away before he can do that.

To cope, he keeps himself away from all of the prisoners. He learns none of their names, makes a point to avoid finding out about what any of their relationships to one another might be beyond what has the potential to affect his position. He turns every single person on the island into a target. The prisoners are collateral damage, bystanders to his mission and unimportant. The men are his real concern, and to get to them, he has to earn their trust.

So he does not hesitate to take down an escaping prisoner, he does not question standing by and watching as the other men interrogate the group. And then one of them takes a bullet. Straight to the head. Dead. It is jarring. Watching one of these people, who are being held here against their will and with no hope of escape lose their life because of the actions of another reminds him that they are _people_. That they have lives and loved ones just like he does. It is impossible for him to not think of Felicity, of the way it had felt to watch Buchinsky’s men holding her captive, to know that they could take her from him permanently on a whim. And he knows that she would not want him to compromise himself, not for her, not for anyone. She would want him to do what he thinks is right, and to figure the rest of it out from there. He stops the next bullet before it can be fired. He tortures once again, but this time it is to save lives not to punish. It is still torture, still a reminder of exactly what he is capable of.

_Anything_ to get back to Felicity. He will do _anything_.

But he will also save as many of these people as he can.

*************************

The woman – one of the leaders – does not like him much. As he walks her away from the camp, trying to hurry her past the mines, she tries to guilt trip him over something that he already feels immensely guilty about. It is not appreciated, but he is still determined to save her life. He has the ability to, so he should. It is the right thing to do. The mine blows, taking another life with it and Oliver has to push down the new wave of guilt that stabs at him as he thinks of the ever growing body count he is racking up in this mission.

His decision to save Taiana is risky. He knows that it is what he should do, what is right and he knows that choosing the lives of the prisoners over the lives of their captors is the good thing to do, the thing that _Felicity_ would do, but he also knows that it will only alienate him further from Reiter’s men. It will only make them more suspicious and the more suspicious they are of him, the harder his mission will become and the longer it will take.

But it is the decision that he makes. And it works. To a degree. It works enough that he is able to leave Taiana alive and well in the forest as he returns to his position at the base.

*************************

Every day it feels like he is losing more of himself. Standing by and watching as Conklin abuses the captives, as they wither away before him under the harsh working conditions is physically painful. He longs to put an arrow between Conklin’s eyes, knowing that he would not hesitate. Conklin is exactly the kind of man who needs to be served justice, the kind of man whose name would sit comfortably next to those of people like Lester Buchinsky on his father’s list. Oliver’s fingers itch for the comfort of his bowstring between his fingers. He begins to imagine scenes of him pushing Conklin away from whomever he has chosen as his victim for the day, and thinks about raising his bow and letting the arrow go.

Thoughts like those are all that gets him through most days, fantasies of meeting Reiter and his men on the streets of Starling, Felicity’s voice chiming in his ear as he cuts his way through the pack, taking every single one of them out and leaving their remains for the police to find. In reality, he just stands there. Unseeing, unmoving.

Thinking about Felicity becomes dangerous. It is also a frequent occurrence, his mind naturally drifting to her whenever there is a lull in action, whenever he is asleep. His dreams always start out nicely, with images of her guiding him through a mission, eating the food that he has cooked, lying in their bed without a stitch of clothing on her and waiting for him to join her. But then reality takes over, and he sees her screaming as he stands just as helplessly as he does every single day back in Purgatory, but this time he is watching Waller drag her away, watching Conklin finding her and hurting her, watching her become one of the captives he is forced to abuse and imprison. Every morning he wakes up, barely having slept, his heart racing and his breath coming out in gasps. He struggles to dispel the picture of her, neck twisted at an unnatural angle as she lays still before him, he cannot calm down for hours after.

In those early hours, when the others are still asleep or guarding the cells, he uses his time to look over the communication device Waller provided him with. If he had not spent almost four months living with Felicity Megan Smoak, two of which he was in a relationship with her for, he would have no idea what to do. The device would be foreign to him, just something to send progress reports with. But he did spend months in intimate proximity with a tech goddess. And even he was able to pick up some tricks.

For a while, he struggles to get his bearings, finding it difficult to do anything with it. But then he starts to play with the hardware, checking the motherboard and remembering the functions of the components and he gets to work. It is slow going, his knowledge is rudimentary at best and he does not want to do anything to render the device completely unusable but after a while, he figures it out. And he does it. He modifies the tech, and all that he needs to be able to contact his beautiful wife is one last piece, one that he thinks he can find on the plane where he, Slade and Shado lived.

  
Oliver can practically taste it, the anticipation, the hope that he might soon be able to hear her voice again after almost two months, the hope of being able to rest a little easier in the knowledge that she is safe.

*************************

Conklin takes everything from him. The day before Oliver has planned to make the trip to find the extra piece, as he stands there dreaming of what he will say to Felicity, Conklin turns those dreams to dust. He must have been following Oliver, the lack of trust between the two of them is not letting up and he shows up that morning, Oliver’s gear bag in hand, taking away everything that Oliver has been holding on to. Every possibility of talking to the love of his life, his wife, gone in the very instant that he was about to get her back in.

There is a cruel glint in Conklin’s eyes as he rips Oliver’s gun from him and guides him towards Reiter’s tent. The excitement of the hunt, of catching his prey. The anticipation of what comes next, of the pain that he so obviously believes is about to be inflicted upon Oliver.

*************************

Oliver’s heart is in his throat as they enter the tent. In a rational world, the evidence that Conklin has is circumstantial at best but this is not a rational world. Reiter is not a rational man. He is unpredictable and harsh, he changes his mind on a whim and more than once, Oliver has witnessed him behaving in ways that suggest a level of instability that he is ill equipped to deal with.

The fate that will befall him depends entirely on Reiter’s mood, and Oliver has no way of knowing what that will be. So he walks into that tent knowing that he could be taking the very last steps of his life, knowing that there is a chance that he has not only lost the ability to communicate with Felicity, but that he may also never see her again. That he may end up buried in an unmarked grave on the same island as his father, as Shado, as Sara and that Felicity will never know of the end that he met. He knows her, he knows her so well and if he does not make it off this island, if he does not make it back home to her, she will keep looking for him forever. She is so loyal, so loving and determined and she _never, ever_ gives up.

If these are to be his last moments, if Waller does not inform Felicity of his demise, she will live the rest of her life in a limbo. Never knowing, never stopping her search for answers. And worse, if she is with Waller, if Waller has a hold of her then there is a chance that she will never be free. Felicity Smoak Queen is a woman of many talents, her intellect is unparalleled but even she would admit that she is not the most physically gifted when it comes to fighting. She was skilled and prepared enough to go up against Buchinsky’s men, but Amanda Waller does not employ street thugs. She employs only the best, people who have been through rigorous testing and who have years of training and experience in whatever field they excel in and a few others. They will not be so easy to slip away from, and Oliver knows that it will take both of their skills – his fighting abilities and his wife’s genius – for them to be able to get away. Safe and together.

*************************

There is already somebody in there, with Reiter. A man, bound and on his knees but with a crisp white shirt that lets Oliver know that he has not been on Lian Yu for long. Nothing could ever hope to stay that clean in this place.

The blonde – John Constantine – has more tricks up his sleeve than his dishevelled appearance would suggest. He disarms Conklin within seconds of escaping his handcuffs, and for a brief moment, Oliver hopes that the gun will go off and end his Conklin problem, but then it is pointed directly at his own head instead. Constantine is also smarter than he looks, he makes sure to blow the tyres on all of the vehicles in sight before making his escape. Oliver’s hands twitch as Constantine turns to shoot, his instincts telling him to lunge forwards, to take the gun and to take the man down but he reminds himself that any enemy of Reiter’s is a potential ally of his and lets Constantine abduct him. He is willing to bet that this man will not shoot him. Either way, the risk is worth it.

*************************

“You don’t want to shoot me.” Oliver forces himself to say as he drives. In the past, a situation like this would have caused for him to clam up, but he has a very important reason to stay alive and figures that the safest time for him to do something as stupid as trying to reason with the man pointing a gun at his head is whilst he is behind the wheel of the car that said man is also sat in.

Constantine smirks, “Oh? And why would that be, mate?” he is a Brit.

“I’m not like them.” Oliver starts, only to be interrupted by a snort of laughter from Constantine, he represses a glare and continues, “Do you know who I am?”

“You’re a mercenary. Somebody hired by a bad man to come and do bad things in a bad place. It’s not exactly complicated.”

“My name is Oliver Queen.” A flicker of recognition passes across the other man’s eyes. Oliver can see that Constantine is taking him in again, reassessing the situation and trying to match the short haired, scruffy jawed man before him to the clean shaven boy with the ‘serial killer haircut’ as Felicity would say.

“So?” is Constantine’s response, after a minute.

Oliver stops himself from sighing as he realises that Constantine is one of those people who likes to make everything difficult, “As in, the son of Robert and Moira Queen. The heir to Queen Consolidated – that Oliver Queen.”

“If you think that the fact that your family has more money than the entire of Jamaica is going to make me do anything then you need to have another think.”

“Have you ever watched the news?” Oliver huffs.

“No.”

Of course not, “Three years ago, my father and I got on our family’s boat on a journey to China and it sunk en route. I washed up on the shores of Lian Yu a few days later and have been stranded here ever since. A little over a month ago, I ran into some of Reiter’s men and he refused to organise for me to get home even after I offered him money, but he did offer me a job. I decided that I’d rather work for Reiter than die.” Oliver stops the car, recognising that they are near the location Constantine is looking for.

“Look mate,” Constantine says as he climbs out of the car, “It doesn’t matter why you agreed to become Reiter’s lapdog, the fact that you did tells me all that I need to know about the kind of man you are.” Oliver is beginning to get tired of people constantly assuming that they know what kind of man he is after very limited interaction. “Get out.” Oliver complies, climbing from the car. “You sure this is the place?”

“Yeah, this is the place.” Oliver walks ahead of Constantine, ever aware of the gun pointed at the back of his head. “What is it that you’re looking for? In my experience, nobody is ever looking for anything good on this island.”

“Well your boss certainly isn’t.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. He’s using forced labour to make drugs.”

Constantine laughs, “If only. My job, Mister Queen, is to keep bad men just like your boss away from some very powerful things. And that’s exactly what I’m here to do. I’m here to stop the bad guys from doing the bad things.”

“I’d find that easier to believe if you didn’t have a gun pointed at the back of my head.”

“You’re one of the bad guys.”

“From where I’m standing, it’s the other way around.”

“Oh, I’m not a bad guy. I’m on the side of the angels, mate. At least when they’re not busy trying to screw me over.”

Constantine turns fully away from Oliver, pocketing the gun and he tears some plants from the ground, stretching out his arms as he begins to chant in a similar way as he did before his escape. Oliver thinks for a minute that he has finally gone mad, that the stress of the last few years, of being torn from Felicity, of the entire day has finally gotten to him and caused for him to begin hallucinating. But that is not the case, or if it is then he and John Constantine are sharing the exact same vision of dirt rising unassisted from the ground, flying up of its own volition to reveal a trap door buried beneath.

*************************

Oliver, at Constantine’s instruction, is the first to descend. His mind is still a little frazzled from having seen actual magic occurring before him and he finds himself unable to concentrate. The only thought running through his mind is that he wishes Felicity had been there to see it, to witness real magic before her. The adorable Harry Potter nerd inside her would have lost it. Then he remembers where he is, who he is with and what is happening and is once again glad that his wife is far away. Even if she is with Waller, he at least knows that she will not be unsafe. One thing that Waller is good at is keeping her higher value assets well protected.

The two of them wind their way through an underground labyrinth, Oliver still trying to wrap his head around what he has just witnessed even as Constantine begins to tell him more about how Lian Yu draws bad people to it, once again insulting Oliver in a way that Oliver finds it difficult to argue with. When they are deep underground, they come across an opening, surrounded by some sort of ancient script.

“Let me guess,” Oliver begins, “‘Do not enter.’”

“More like… only for the pure of heart.” Constantine pulls out a pair of handcuffs then, clasping one end around Oliver’s right wrist. As his arm is being bound, Oliver briefly debates mentioning how futile the exercise is, but an image of swirling dirt stops him. As long as Constantine assumes that Oliver is just hired muscle, Oliver has an advantage. Being underestimated is what will give Oliver the opportunity to take back control, if he lets Constantine know that he is more than capable of escaping a measly pair of handcuffs, then Constantine could resort to more drastic measures. Like magic. Which he clearly knows how to use, and Oliver does not.

Constantine walks unopposed through the gateway, either confirming that he is on the ‘side of the angels’ or that both of them are sharing a fever dream. It takes no time at all for Oliver to slip free of the cuffs, but the gateway is another matter. It makes him pause. If Constantine is right, if this place can only be entered by those who are pure of heart, then what will happen to those who are not who try to enter? If Oliver takes another step, what will happen to him?

He does not feel pure. He feels like his hands are soaked in blood, like the lives he has takes are weighing down on him, crushing him into the ground. In the heat of the moment, killing is easy. It is a cold hearted truth to acknowledge, but the chaos of battle drowns out all and any moral and ethical objections and obligations in favour of something significantly more primal. The urge to survive, to kill, to prove one’s worth is one keenly felt by anybody who has been in such a situation. It takes away all and any need to do anything other than survive, to keep going. Killing is easy. It is what comes after that is difficult. It is the memory of having another person’s life in his hands and taking it from them that haunts him.

But there is no choice. If he wants to get back to his love, he has to keep going, to keep surviving and fighting on. He has to take a step. Constantine said that entry would only be granted to somebody pure of heart, so Oliver can only think of one course of action. He has to focus on the purest part of him, on the best, most beautiful and kind feelings that his dark heart is capable of. He has to focus on Felicity. His light. Her smile, her laugh, the little furrow that she gets when she is hard at work, the way that she looks when she is waking up in the morning, the cute little way that she seeks him out as she sleeps and burrows her cold face into his warm chest. The rosy flush that she gets when they make love, the way that she still babbles and blushes and gets adorably flustered and shy even after everything that they have done together.

A deep breath.

  
A step.

He is through.

*************************

Oliver wastes no more time in chasing after Constantine, rushing to ensure that he does not fall too far behind the other man. Much to his relief, Constantine does not immediately start chanting at the sight of him, his focus too strongly on the orb in the centre of the room. The distraction of the artefact proves so great that Constantine does not even notice when spikes begin to fall from the ceiling and onto him, forcing Oliver to leap and save him.

There is nobody in the world who more embodies the word nonplussed than John Constantine, Oliver is sure of it. Almost dying under an ancient trap does not seem to have fazed him at all, and neither does anything else. Oliver feels less calm, every word that Constantine says is somehow shaking up his entire understanding of the world, making him reassess almost everything that he once knew to be true.

Oliver’s actions in saving John do seem to have earnt his trust though, as well as a favour. Constantine tries to convince Oliver to return with him. Oliver almost says yes, he is on the verge of it, the first word having risen to his lips being an affirmation, an agreement. One that will see him safely back to Starling where he can check on his wife, where he can see her safe for himself, where he can go home. It is so very tempting. It is everything that he has wanted since he woke up on that plane so many weeks ago.

But there are people here. There are people in pain, struggling for survival and dreaming of freedom just like Oliver himself once did. There is Taiana who he has left in the tunnels and not returned to despite his promise. There is Reiter, and Conklin. Both of whom need taking down, too dangerous to leave behind. And Waller too, she will never let him get away with abandoning the mission and if she has Felicity, there is nothing that Oliver can do to prevent her from taking out her vengeance on his wife.

So instead, he takes the orb from John, and receives a tattoo as a bonus. A magical one. He finds a small bubble of excitement building inside him at the prospect of showing Felicity. She will _love_ it.

“Now I believe that concludes our business.” John holds out his hand for Oliver to shake.

“Not quite.” Oliver says, “I need you to do something for me.”

“And what might that be?”

Oliver slides his hand under the collar of his shirt, hooking his fingers through the chain handing from his neck and pulling it out. He lays the ring in the palm of his hand so that Constantine can see it.

“I lied earlier.” He says, “I didn’t just happen upon Reiter’s men a few weeks ago, I tracked them down. Over a year ago, I almost made it off the island on a boat but it sunk. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in Hong Kong and a woman called Amanda Waller was recruiting me for a covert organisation called A.R.G.U.S.”

“Oh yeah, I know Amanda. Did she ever manage to pull that stick out of her arse?”

Oliver snorts in response, “No. She didn’t. But after I worked for her for a year, I was let go and I went back home in secret and met a wonderful woman named Felicity Smoak, and I married her. And then, Waller showed back up and took me from her. She sent me back here to infiltrate Reiter’s operation because I know the terrain best.”

“You’ve got a wife?” Constantine refocuses on the circle in Oliver’s hand.

“Yes, and I need to know that she is safe. You don’t have to do anything yourself, I just need you to check that she hasn’t been taken by Waller and if she has, I need you to hire somebody to save her. She’ll reimburse you once she’s free.”

“Alright, mate,” John smiles, still slightly surprised to find that Oliver Queen is now a married man, “I can do that.”

“And one more thing.” Oliver is shaking, trembling at the thought of what he is going to do. He cannot tell whether the trembling is from fear or excitement. The thought that he will not be able to go and personally ensure his wife’s safety is terrifying and it is sending him headfirst into another panic attack. The air is unable to move through his lungs, but there is also excitement. He can get a message to his wife, he can get her to safety.

“Well… I guess you did save my life,” Constantine reluctantly admits, “Go on then.”

“I need you to give this message to my wife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Oliver. Looks like things are starting to change on Lian Yu.
> 
> Next chapter: we pay Felicity a visit back in Starling.


	2. I couldn't last without you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity attempts to continue in the wake of losing the man that she loves. Not knowing when, or if, he will return. She has a lot to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot apologise enough. I never wanted to or intended to leave anything this long without updating. The plan had actually been to update once a week but then the entire world imploded and I got super busy and then the Q&C fic drive existed and I really wanted to participate, so I've been working on that instead and then I also got huge writer's block on this chapter. But I broke through the block and I got in the flow and yay! An update!
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience and for anyone who's been reading my other stuff without complaining about me doing that instead of this. I hope that the wait was worth it <3

**Chapter II – I couldn’t last without you**

Sleeping is the hardest part. During the day, she can pretend that he is still waiting for her at home, baking one of those delicious honey cakes that he baked on their first non-date. She can distract herself with her work, with all of the extracurricular hacking that she is inundated with. At night, she can imagine that he is out in the field, suiting up or making his way home in those brief periods of time that she is not needed in his ear. When she can just run her searches and prepare for the next night’s activities.

But when she slides into bed at night, when she pulls the covers over her body and feels the coolness of the sheets against her skin, that is when she cannot forget. She has grown accustomed to having his warm chest against her back or under her cheek. She has come to expect the feeling of his legs tangling with hers, his arms wrapped around her and protecting her from the cold expanse of their bed. He is not there to fill it anymore. There is just empty space and icy loneliness. No Oliver.

The weight of her ring is a heavy burden.

Waking up that afternoon had been terrifying. To look around for her husband and not see him, to remember the events of the morning, to remember how everything had faded to black, darkness swallowing Oliver’s face as she lost consciousness. The panic had been overwhelming, her fear rising up in her as she had called out for him, only to find that note, that terrible, agonising note, letting her know that he was gone. And even though the note may have said that it would only be a few months, it had sent a clear message: Oliver and Felicity are both at the beck and call of Amanda Waller for the foreseeable future, and there is nothing that either of them can do to change that. Not unless one of them is willing to risk losing the other permanently. Felicity knows that neither of them are ever going to be willing to risk that. 

So she throws herself into work, trying her hardest to puzzle her way through the situation but unable to see any option that does not lead to her or Oliver’s potential ends. Her job is barely enough to keep her mind busy and she knows that she is starting to look sick. She has been losing weight – a result of her lost appetite – she has huge circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep and she is barely aware of her surroundings any more, everything in her purely focused on her husband. Where he is. What he is doing. If he is safe. If he is in pain. How long it will be until he is free again. How long it will be before she can see him again.

She has no answers.

Her entire life feels like it has entered some sort of stasis. She never thought that she would be that girl to lose it over a guy. She never expected to find herself in this situation. But then she met the most remarkable man she has ever known, and she fell in love with him and she trusted him and she let him into her life and heart, believing that he would never leave her. And now she realises that falling apart like this is not due to any weakness on her part, but to the strength of her love for him.

Never before has she loved anybody or anything so wholly – not even her precious computer babies. But with Oliver, she does. He is not her whole world, she is not dependant on him for anything except delicious home cooked meals. She has other things in her life, she loves other things. But Oliver feels like another part of her. It feels like her soul is split in two between her body and his, and the most precious, wonderful, beloved thing in the world to her has now been taken away. And she does not know where, or how he is doing. She feels powerless, helpless and there is no worse feeling to her. All that she wants is to be able to help somehow, but she cannot because trying to help could end up in Amanda Waller unleashing her wrath on the both of them.

For weeks after he is gone, Felicity feels like she is living her life in limbo. Like some sort of Schrödinger’s cat situation except her husband is the cat and the shape of her life from here on out is the unknown. Will she be a wife or a widow? The question tears into her every night, keeping her up as her heart tears itself to pieces.

Life continues either way, and even if Felicity feels like a zombie half of the time, walking around aimlessly, she has to keep going. Completing tasks with no real joy and feeling at a loss as to what to do with her nights without a Vigilante to play tech support for.

*************************

Until one day, about five weeks after Oliver’s disappearance, when the only progress that Felicity has made on finding him has been gaining basic access to the A.R.G.U.S. system because she knows that if she digs any deeper, it will become harder to hide her signature and the last thing that she wants is Amanda Waller catching onto her digging. Walter calls her up to his office. It is something simple, a logistical issue to do with the two departments that Felicity liaises between, but that is not what catches her attention.

What catches her attention are the framed images resting on Walter’s desk. There are three in total, one of Walter and Moira – Oliver’s mother. The two of them went public with their relationship very recently, finally announcing that they are together and the sight of Moira’s face on Walter’s desk is jarring to Felicity. As is the picture of Walter, Moira and Oliver’s little sister, Thea, which rests right next to it.

Moira’s blue eyes, the dimples, the Queen mole. Everything about those two reminds Felicity of the love of her life. Her Oliver. It reminds her that she is not the only one who misses him. Over three years ago, the two of them had to experience not just losing Oliver but also Robert. They had to wait and hope for the two of them to be found, never truly knowing if they were dead or just lost. They have spent the last three years without confirmation, and earlier this year made the toughest decision that they could in letting go, and accepting that the men in their lives were truly gone.

At least, for Felicity, it has only been a few weeks. At least she knows what happened and that there is still a good chance of Oliver coming home. At least she knows that she will be able to find out if Oliver is gone if it comes to that.

Walter catches her staring at the photographs, and his eyes soften as he looks at Moira and Thea in them. Felicity can see how much he adores them so plainly on his face, without him saying a word, she knows that, for him, the Queen family is it. They are the family he has chosen. She knows because the look that he gets when he looks at the picture of him and Moira is the exact same look that she gets when she looks at her and Oliver.

She cannot give that up.

She cannot let them give it up. Oliver has been through so much, before Waller took him back he had and when he gets home (when, not if) he will have been through so much more, Felicity just knows it. He deserves everything. He deserves the entire world, and he deserves to be with his loved ones as soon as humanly possible. By some stroke of luck, she has found herself to be one of the people who can be considered a loved one of Oliver Queen’s, but she is not the only one.

She is just the only one with the skill set that she has and the knowledge that she does.

So she owes it to herself, to Oliver, to Moira and Thea and Tommy Merlyn and even Walter Steele to get him home. So she is going to.

*************************

The second thing that reawakens her to the world around her and the goals that she has before Waller walked into her life is also at work. She is not working, not technically. She finished off all of the work for the week in record time, a side effect of having nothing else to do with her life right now, and she is taking the opportunity to look into her husband’s disappearance, and what she can do to bring him home. It is slow going, for every step that she takes in the right direction, she has to do a thousand calculations, she has to consider a thousand angles and options and outcomes because every move that she makes has the potential to be picked up by Amanda Waller and Felicity has to do everything that she can to stop that. Amanda cannot know that Felicity is ignoring her orders and getting involved until Felicity is ready for her to know that. And Felicity will not be ready any time soon. She needs to put things in place, she needs to have something over Waller that she can use as a bargaining chip to ensure that she is able to get involved without bringing down any consequences on her husband.

For everything that she uncovers though, there is that risk of discovery. It thrills Felicity, it helps her feel alive again and she finds herself throwing everything that she has into it, purely focused on Oliver. Though, that is not unusual. Ever since she met Oliver, it has felt like a huge part of her has been constantly focused on him. And she would not change that for the world. She loves him.

But her hyper focus on the man she married must be how she managed to forget her other mission. And how it was so startling to receive a message from the head of finance about her server upgrades. The head of finance. The guy who, out of everyone in the company, is most likely to know about any possible embezzlement or under the table transactions. The guy who should have been her first point of call when investigating the corruption that she and Oliver had discovered leading back to Queen Consolidated.

How could she forget that? She remembers how upset Oliver had been at the thought of somebody using his family and his father’s company like that, she remembers planning to find and expose the culprit. But after everything that has happened over the last few weeks, it has slipped her mind. Her only thoughts for so long have been of Oliver. Of Amanda Waller and A.R.G.U.S. and how powerless she has been and she had forgotten the power that she does have. The power to do good for the company that she works for and for Oliver’s family. Her family, now that she is Oliver’s wife. She brushes that thought away, not quite ready to deal with the fact that she is now technically related to her bosses and the heiress to the company she works for.

It looks like she has two tasks on her agenda now though. But Oliver will still take precedence. Oliver will always be her number one priority, and she will be his because that is a promise that they implicitly made to one another when they agreed to be each other’s forever.

*************************

Felicity’s first attempts to look into the corruption case go disastrously. She tries, she really does but fate or whatever it is does not choose that night to be on her side, and instead of managing to successfully follow QC’s head of finances to plant a bug on him, Felicity ends up in an armed robbery at a jewellery store. She does not even know how it happened.

Her unlucky streak continues when the Detective on the case, who catches the robbers and makes sure that all of the hostages, Felicity included, are out and safe is one Detective Quentin Lance. Immediately, he is eying her up suspiciously.

“Miss Smoak, it seems you have a habit for getting yourself into trouble.” As she always does when somebody refers to her by her title and surname, Felicity has to fight off the urge to correct him with a ‘That’s _Missus_ Smoak _Queen_ to you’.

“Just unlucky, I guess.” Felicity says, meaning it but not in the way that she is implying.

“Sure you are.” Felicity is under the impression that he does not believe her.

When she finally gets away from the police and the paramedics, Felicity makes her way directly to that awful warehouse where Oliver had been held and tortured. She has lost the trail of her fellow QC employee, but will be damned if this night comes to no use.

It is hard to go back in there, the memories of what she had seen and heard and the way that Oliver had looked when he slumped, exhausted, into her arms are so much harder now that she has no idea where he is, or how safe. Or anything, really. He could be even worse off than when she had freed him from here.

A clang draws her attention, making her gasp as she whirls around, keys gripped in her fist and a can of pepper spray in hand.

It is Quentin Lance.

“Detective?” she asks, more out of surprise than out of any need for confirmation.

“Miss Smoak, would you mind explaining to me what you’re doing in a private warehouse in the Warehouse District?” Felicity has no explanation. “Because to me it looks like you’re up to no good.”

Indignant, Felicity tries to throw Lance off her back, “Would you mind telling me why you’re following a young girl around a dodgy part of town?”

Lance huffs, looking almost impressed, “I don’t know, I saw a woman lying about her reasons for being in a place, caught up in yet another major crime only months after she was caught up in a sex trafficking ring under suspicious circumstances, and I thought I’d investigate.”

“That sounds to me like you’re blaming the victim, Detective.”

“And yet, here we are. And it looks like I was right.”

Felicity bites her lip. There is no way that she can just shrug off her reasons for being here, Lance will keep investigating and who knows what he might dig up. No, the only way for her to keep him off her trail if to let him know a half truth. Something that will make him stop looking into her but also make him let her get on with what she is doing.

“Look, what I’m doing really isn’t any of your business, but if you must know… me being involved with that ring wasn’t entirely accidental.” She pauses, trying to work out how much she is going to divulge, “I work at Queen Consolidated, as you know, and a few months ago, I came across some discrepancies. Those discrepancies included the fact that somebody in QC owns this place, a warehouse that has been used by Buchinsky and his operation in the past. I looked into it. I looked into it a bit too well actually, and then they caught me. But now that they’re shut down for the most part, I still can’t let it go, because whoever works at my company and had a hand in the barbaric things that Buchinsky was doing is still roaming free and I would like to change that.”

Lance’s entire face changes, a look of something close to recognition crossing him, “That’s not your job, Miss Smoak. You should have informed the police.”

“With what evidence, Detective? Look, I’m not doing anything illegal, I’m just collecting enough evidence to be able to hand the case over to the authorities. Okay?”

The Detective has a moment, thinking on it, “Okay. But if you’re ever planning on doing something like this again, going out somewhere that you could get caught or hurt like last time, you let me know so that I can check up on you, or I will find a way to stop you from doing this. Deal?”

After a beat, she responds, “Deal.”

*************************

A life of not one, but two secret, undercover missions means that, inevitably, Felicity has to make her way into the belly of the beast at some point. Every time that her foot hits the ground, the clack of her shoe sounds like Oliver’s voice telling her no. Reminding her of how stupid she is being, and how much danger she could be putting herself in but she needs to go. She has been building something to aid her in encrypting her computer system. Something so powerful and high tech that it could hide her from even the prying eyes of an organisation as powerful as A.R.G.U.S. but she needs something to be able to do it. Something that requires her making her way into the underbelly of the Glades so that she can make a deal and get it.

After all, such technology would be heavily monitored by the government and trying to access it through any legal ports will, without a doubt, be noticed by Waller. So Felicity is going to the black market. And shockingly, not for the first time. She had been party to Cooper buying some stuff back in the day. Now she sees that the event maybe should have been an indicator as to the sort of things he was planning to do. But that is not really important anymore.

Now, Felicity is the one who is planning on taking advantage of her ability to hack into a government agency. And if that means doing something that Oliver would be angry about, then so be it. This is all for him anyway.

*************************

She slips into the club that the dealer is working out the back of easily enough, dressed to impress as she is. The door to the dealer is right at the back, she can see the guards outside it and her phone is telling her that the electricity that room is sucking up far exceeds any other room in the building, so that must be the place. But she is not an idiot, she is not about to burst in there alone, with no backup, and start making demands. No, first she is going to sit back and observe. She spots a place at the edge of the bar where she will have a perfect view on the entire club, and a direct line to that door so she winds her way there, dodging groping hands and enthusiastic bodies as she goes.

Settling in, she goes to order a drink. The bartender comes to talk to Felicity and as her face becomes visible, Felicity freezes. She recognises the woman. It takes her a minute, because it is dark and she has only really seen her once before, in passing, and she had looked very different back then, but she does recognise her. Way back in the summer, when she had first met Oliver and was still trying to get him to trust her with helping out on his missions, she had looked into all of his missions. Mostly, the one that had brought him to her. When he had freed seventeen girls from an auction and had been shot in the process of trying to capture Lester Buchinsky.

This woman working the bar, she is one of those seventeen. The twenty year old, only a year younger than Felicity.

“It’s you!” Felicity exclaims before she can censor herself, causing for the other woman look up from making the drink.

“I’m sorry.” Says the girl, “Do you know me?”

Felicity knows that she should deny it. It would be the sensible thing to call it a mistake and move on but if there is one thing that Felicity has never been able to leave alone, it is a mystery. And there has been one bugging her about those girls since she looked into them, so she cannot help herself. She looks around tentatively, making sure that nobody is paying attention to their conversation and she leans in, “You’re one of the girls that the Vigilante saved. Right?” she whispers.

The girl is taken aback, and understandably. There should be no way for Felicity to know that, the records were all sealed thanks to so many of them being minors, “N- no. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She stammers out.

Realising her mistake immediately, Felicity rushes to explain, “No! It’s okay. He… he saved me too. I know him, and I’ve been involved in a few of his missions. That’s how I know. You don’t need to worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“He saved you too?” the woman looks a little less flighty.

“Yes.” Felicity smiles, “I’m Felicity Smoak. The Vigilante saved me from a guy in an alley just before he saved the seventeen of you.”

Hesitantly, but looking slightly more trusting, the woman extends her hand to shake Felicity’s, “Malie Kekoa.”

“Hi, Malie.” Felicity says kindly, “Look, I wouldn’t have said anything but there’s been something really bothering me and I thought there was a chance you could help me with it.” Malie nods, letting Felicity know that she should continue, “So there were seventeen of you. I was able to see that sixteen of you had made it home safe but I lost track of one. She skipped out of the police station before they had a chance to question her and it was just concerning because she was only-”

“Twelve years old.” Malie interrupts.

“Yes. I just… do you know what happened to her?”

“She’s thirteen now.” Malie says, “All of the other girls had places to go. We would talk while we were in… while we were in _that_ room, and they would always say how much they missed their families but me and Sin, we didn’t have any family to talk about. Neither of us had anywhere to go. She kind of clung to me, she was so independent but I could tell that she just wanted somebody to care about her.

“When the Vigilante came, I had been taken to another room because I was to be the first up for auction. They held me at knifepoint to try and stop him, but he took them down and freed the others. When the police finally got to us, Sin was terrified. And not just of the men that took us, but of the police too. She ran at the first chance.

“I thought I’d never see her again, but when I left the police station and they set me up with somewhere to stay so that I could get my life back together, she suddenly started showing up. I got a job here and I did my best to feed her and,” Malie looks around as Felicity has, “She eventually moved in with me. I’ve been looking after her as best I can. I know I should go to the authorities and get her into foster care and school but I also know that she’ll just run off and end up on the streets again if I do. At least this way, I know she’s safe and she’s learning something.” She wrings her hands together, “You’re not going to turn us in, are you? I know that what I’m doing is wrong but it’s the best thing for her, I’m sure of it. Please don’t take her from me, she’s like my little sister.”

“No! No, no, don’t worry. I agree. You’re just doing what’s best for you and for her and it’s incredibly kind of you to do so. Just… if you ever need anything,” Felicity roots around her bag, searching for something to write on, “Just call me. I have experience in tutoring and more than enough money, so I’d like to help out, if you want. I can pay for her schools supplies, I can pay for anything you need me to like rent or therapy or anything, really. And of course, I can teach her the basics. She can stay with you as long as you both want, just… please let me help out. It’s what O- the Vigi- _He_ would want.”

Malie’s eyes well up, “You would do that for us?” Felicity just hands over her number, “ _Thank you_. Thank you so much. You have no idea… just, thank you.”

“It’s really nothing.” Felicity insists, sliding off the stool, “Look, I’ve got some business to take care of, but just message me when your shift is over and we’ll sort out the logistics, see if… Sin, did you say her name was?” Malie nods, “See if Sin and I will get along, and if she’ll be okay with me teaching her, is that okay?”

“Yes. Thank you. Good luck with your business, Felicity.”

“I’ll see you and Sin soon.”

*************************

The deal goes off without a hitch, leaving Felicity in excellent spirits, especially when she completes her device and compiles the code, slipping straight into the depths of the A.R.G.U.S. system without an issue. What she finds there is devastating. Waller has sent Oliver back to Lian Yu. Back to the place that she knows he considers his literal, personal hell. His Purgatory. She can feel tears slipping down her eyes at the thought. This is the worst possible thing that Waller could have done. Felicity feels murderous.

And it is made so much worse when she realises that Oliver has missed his last five check-ins with A.R.G.U.S.

His last _five_. What has happened to her husband?

She cannot stop shaking for the entire night, thankful that it is a Friday because she does not feel like she would be capable of going in to work this exhausted and frightened. The love of her life is going through something horrific and dangerous and he has now been out of contact for five days. Five days in which literally anything could have happened.

That weekend, she barely gets a wink of sleep, feeling like she had when Buchinsky’s men had taken him captive. At least before, she had some faith in Amanda Waller’s ability to keep an eye on Oliver. To keep her operatives and her operations as healthy and functional as possible. The woman is cruel but she is not unhinged, she knows that keeping Oliver as safe as possible is in her best interests. And not just because his death would be detrimental to whatever she wants done on that island, but also because she has to have known that Felicity would find out eventually. And without Oliver to hold over Felicity’s head, there is nothing that could stop Felicity from decimating Amanda Waller’s entire life with just a few keystrokes.

Waller definitely does not want that.

And Felicity can feel herself getting closer and closer to doing it the longer that Oliver’s absence goes on.

*************************

Sunday night is when her life changes again for the fifth time in just a year.

One minute, she is alone in her house and running to her kitchen for a coffee break before hitting the computers again. The next, there is a man lounging on her sofa like he owns the place.

He has a mop of messy blonde hair, bright, mischievous eyes and a look of arrogance about him. His clothes are tussled, a simple white shirt and a red tie and… is that a _trench coat_?

Without meaning to, Felicity screams, reaching for the closest thing available – a frying pan – to brandish at him, “Stay where you are!” she yells as the man turns around to look at her, a smirk firmly on his lips. He does not look scared in the least. “I’m warning you. I have a detective friend who checks in on me every day, if you do anything, he will know and he will find you!”

“Calm down, lass.” He says, as relaxed as ever as he speaks in an English accent, “I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Then why on _Earth_ would you break into my house?” she is still wielding the frying pan and is starting to feel a little stupid.

“I didn’t break in.” He insists, “I just walked in.”

“That’s not an explanation!” Felicity is growing frustrated.

And then he says it, the sentence that changes everything, “Your husband sent me.”

“My… my husband?” she whimpers, suddenly feeling the ghost of Oliver’s arms wrapping around her waist from behind as they have so many times. Then she remembers, “I don’t know what you mean. I don’t have a husband.”

The man laughs, “Well, you might want to tell Oliver Queen that then, love. Because he’s under the impression that you’re his wife. You _are_ Felicity Smoak Queen, right?”

Felicity nods, hoping beyond hope that this man is telling the truth, her heart swelling at the sound of her new name from somebody who is not her or Oliver, “Yes.”

“I can see why he married you.” He looks her up and down, “Queen got lucky there, why would you marry a bloke like him?”

“I-” Felicity is at a loss, not knowing whether to berate him for staring at her body or for insulting Oliver first as she is still hung up on him saying ‘ _Your husband sent me_ ’.

“The name’s John Constantine.” He hands over a business card, which Felicity barely even glances at, “Your husband did ask me to hire somebody to save you from Amanda Waller, but,” he looks at her frying pan with a grin, “Looks like you’ve got that covered. So I’ll just have to give you his message.”

“He left me a message?” Felicity can feel the frying pan dropping but she is numb. This man has seen Oliver, he has spoken to him. He has a _message for her_ from her husband. “Is he okay? Is he alive? What’s happening to him? What has Waller done? Has he-”

“Woah!” John holds up his hands, “Woah, love. Hold on a second. Let me tell you what he had to say before you start asking questions.”

She takes in a deep breath and quiets. All that she wants is to hear her husband’s words, even if they are from another man. Everything else can come after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting into the thick of it now. Next chapter we're heading back to Oliver and Lian Yu.
> 
> Please stay safe, inside and wash your hands if possible. We'll get through this.


	3. I'm a survivor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver's mission on Lian Yu reaches its boiling point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look! A chapter that didn't take more than a month!
> 
> I hope you're all doing okay and that you enjoy this <3

**Chapter III – I’m a survivor**

After John Constantine leaves the island, Oliver finds himself going about his duties with a new lightness in his heart. He now has hope. Where before, there had only been despair at his helplessness to save his wife, or to even know that she is safe, there is now the knowledge that Constantine will at least set in motion the measures that will keep her from Waller’s grasp. He has no guarantees, he has no idea what exactly has been happening with Felicity since his return to the island, and he has no idea how closely Waller is watching her but he can now believe that she is or will soon be safe. Somehow, even though he knows just as little as he had a week ago, just the thought is making him feel better.

Really, there is no good reason for him to be in such high spirits. Constantine could fail to do what he has asked, Waller might have such a tight grasp on Felicity that getting her out is impossible, he has completely lost contact with A.R.G.U.S. and Conklin is growing more and more suspicious of him every day. But he has something to hold onto now, something to focus on beyond his desperate need to escape. He has a mission and he has just enough trust in John’s word to believe that he can now throw all of his focus into completing that mission before going home.

*************************

When Reiter sends Oliver on an excavation in search of something he refuses to elaborate on, he thinks nothing of it. Not even when Reiter sends Conklin with him. He is more than aware that Reiter is trying to ensure none of his men betray him by sending Conklin along wherever he goes. They still, rightly, believe that Oliver killed their friend on his first day back on the island, but they trust Conklin to take the most violent and vengeful actions the very second that Oliver proves himself to be anything less than fully loyal. And Reiter knows that this will placate them for now.

When he returns to the beach from his visit to Taiana, he is not focused enough. His awareness of his surroundings should have been better, but because of his distraction, he finds himself splashing into the ocean, a heavy body pushing him down beneath the water where his side is aching from the force of a large body slamming into him. Gasping, he manages to draw in a final breath before he loses access to the air, his body thrashing, stirring up the gentle waters into tempestuous waves. There are hands around his neck, holding him under, trying to force the last of the air from his lungs and things are starting to become hazy, Oliver’s head is growing lighter and lighter until his leg connects with flesh. It’s a hard hit, hard enough to make his attacker’s hold loosen for a short second. But that fraction of time is more than enough for Oliver to get purchase around their hands, prying them loose as he twists his body to gain the advantage.

Resurfacing, Oliver gulps in air even as he uses his newfound leverage on the ocean floor to flip his attacker’s body around, reversing their positions. But Oliver is not stupid enough to hold them in the same way that they held him, he is not stupid enough to just hope that a weak grip around their neck and his body within easy access of their kicking legs will be enough to hold them. He wastes no time in repositioning, instead encircling his arm around their neck in a tight and unshakable grip, his body behind theirs so that he is beyond their reach. All that he can see is red, all that he knows is that the person in his arms is a _threat_ , and therefore needs to be dealt with and his arm tightens further, almost enough to separate the vertebrae in the neck of the person he is holding.

And then he sees Conklin’s face. A mixture of smugness and disappointment. That voice in his head, the one that sounds eerily like Felicity and that he has started to think of as his conscience or some crap like that, it whispers to him that this is no coincidence. This person did not just up and decide to attack him. They were set on him by Conklin. _Oliver._ Felicity’s voice says his name like a warning to his mind, reminding him that the person he is about to murder is a captive. That they likely had no other choice and before he thinks about it, he can feel his arms loosening.

He thinks better of it. He shifts his grip just slightly, moving his hands to the right place and _pressing_. The body goes limp.

Oliver drops it face up in the water as he breathes heavily, coming down from the fight and never taking his eyes off Conklin or the other prisoners. He has no allies here. Ironically, the closest that he has to one is Reiter. But Reiter is back at camp, and here he is surrounded by angry prisoners who have now watched him seemingly murder not one but two of their leaders and a man who is convinced he is a traitor.

Chest still heaving, he wades out of the waters, one hand wrapped around the wrist of his attacker, dragging the body along behind him. As soon as he hits the beach, he hoists the large mass into his arms, never once losing sight of the others. Conklin opens his mouth, no doubt intending to boast about how much trouble Oliver is about to be in for his involvement in a third incident but Oliver does not let him speak.

“I’m going to dispose of the body.” He growls, “When I get back here, you’d better have made some progress.” With people like this, it is better to act as if everything is still going to plan.

*************************

The body is heavy. Far heavier than Taiana’s had been, but he manages to get all the way back to the cave. She is still in there, cooking food and her head snaps up at the laboured sounds of his entrance, panicked.

“It’s fine.” He pants, “Just me.”

“Oliver! Why are you back so soon?” he finishes making his way into the room, revealing the limp person in his arms. “Vlad!” Taiana gasps, rushing over and dropping to her knees, “What did you do to him?” her question is accusatory, and for good reason. Vlad has no noticeable heartrate. “Vlad! Vlad!” she shakes Vlad, looking distraught.

“He’s fine.” Oliver realises that even after what he has done for Taiana, she will never fully trust him. She knows how capable he is of faking a death. She knows it first-hand, and yet she still seems to think that he would drag a corpse all the way to her for some reason, “I did the same thing that I did to you.”

“Why?” Taiana sobs, her tears slowing as she figures out what he has done.

“He attacked me.”

Her attention flips from Vlad to Oliver, “What? He would never do that. Did you attack him first?”

Oliver levels her with a glare, “What possible reason would I have for doing that?”

She at least looks a little sheepish, “I don’t know, but I know my brother, and he wouldn’t just attack unprovoked.”

“Your brother?” He is surprised, Taiana has never mentioned having a brother, let alone one on the island. She nods. “Have you thought that maybe him believing that I killed his sister was all the provocation that he needed? Especially since I’m pretty sure Conklin put him up to it.”

“But Vlad hates Conklin.” She protests.

“I’d imagine that he hates the man who killed you more. Enemy of his enemy and all that.” Taiana does not reply, merely looking back at her limp brother, “Okay I’m going to wake him up but I don’t have time to stick around. You’ll have to catch him up on everything.”

He presses his hand to Vlad’s neck adding pressure in just the right spot and then the man is gasping, jumping up with wild eyes and his hands still clenched into fists. Oliver does not stay to see what happens next.

*************************

Returning to the beach is a mistake. It is a necessary one, but Conklin wastes no time in taking advantage of Oliver’s supposed murder to try and get him into trouble with Reiter. Oliver gets lucky again, and Reiter believes him. He gets too lucky, and Reiter decides to let Oliver punish Conklin himself.

He stands behind the man who has made his last few months hell. The man who just tried to have him killed, who he knows without a doubt would stab him in the back the second he got the chance. Here he has the chance to inflict some damage, to show all of these people that he is not one to be trifled with and to incapacitate, however temporarily, the person who has caused him so much pain. He wants to. He can feel that part of him – the part that had relished in severing Shrieve’s nerves and tearing through his skin not even a year ago – rearing its ugly head. Whispering all of the places where the whip’s cuts will hurt the most, which places will take him out of action for the longest.

But he can also feel Felicity’s small hands in his. He can feel her soft hair tickling his chest like it always does when she sleeps snuggled into him. He can hear Waller talking about his _capacity for the unfathomable_ and sounding so _impressed_ , and Felicity’s fierce insistence that what he did was bad, but that she knows he did it for good reasons. _As long as you can learn from your mistakes, there is no need for my forgiveness_. That is what she had said to him, always so confident in her belief that he is good. And he wants to be.

If he tortures this man kneeling on the ground the way that he knows how to, he will send a clear message. He will give himself a break from Conklin for a good while. Maybe even long enough to get the job done and go home. But if he does, he will prove that he is still the man who kept a corrupt general on the brink of death for hours until he fell unconscious. He will do something that Felicity will have to learn about and hate and forgive. Oliver does not want her to have to forgive him for anything. She will, he has no doubt that she will understand and forgive him in a heartbeat but if he makes the decision to hurt Conklin, he has made a choice to do something that he knows is awful. And he will never feel like he can earn the forgiveness that she will give so easily.

The whip falls.

It misses all major nerves.

*************************

The cuts that Oliver whipped into Conklin were shallow. They healed quickly and in what seemed like no time, the man was back up with a hatred for Oliver far greater than before. Even so, Oliver finds the time to slip away and check on Taiana and Vlad.

Vlad has settled in well, happy to be out of the camps but angry that his friends are still there. The first time Oliver had visited, he had been angry and distrustful, still unable to forget the weeks spent thinking that Taiana had died but when the two of them start to talk, they find that they have a lot in common. Namely a fierce protectiveness of their younger sisters and a hatred of Reiter and Conklin and anybody else involved in the mess that they have been caught in. It does not take long for Vlad to grow closer to Oliver than Taiana ever has, the brother being far more trusting and grateful to Oliver for saving the both of them.

Taiana is still wary, but seems to have enough trust in him to believe that Oliver is not just playing some long trick on them to let him continue to keep them safe. It also means that she is willing to help when he goes to her and asks for help diving for the maps still in the sunken _Amazo_. Both she and Vlad try to convince him to let her go and he can see the point of their argument but he also knows that she will never be able to navigate the submerged ship the way that he can, Taiana does not know what he is looking for like he does.

Diving seems simple to him. He knows that throwing himself into the deep end – literally – as he is about to probably is not the best plan he has ever had but time is ticking by and he has been away from Felicity for nearly half a year now. Nearly as long as he had been _with_ her. He never expected this when he asked her to marry him, when he promised to always come back to her. He never expected to have such a big separation to come back from. Looking back on it, he probably should have. His life never seems to go to plan.

So he does it, he focuses all of his energy on keeping the breath in his lungs, the oxygen in his blood and he makes it. He gets the maps. He loses his focus. He is not aware of the waters around him as he swims back, all of his attention on making it to shore and foiling whatever it is that Reiter is doing beyond making drugs.

Without warning, his left side erupts in pain.

He is dragged back through the water, the strength in his limbs worthless compared to the power in whatever has impaled his entire abdomen in an unshakable grasp. For the second time in the last few weeks, he finds himself thrashing helplessly underwater, trying to twist and get a look at whatever is hurting him. When he does, he almost releases all of the precious little air that he still has in his lungs. A _shark_. It is a shark. A huge, powerful shark.

But it is a living creature. And living things can be hurt.

Even though there are black spots dancing around his eyes, even though he is almost delirious with the agony searing through him, even though he can see his own blood staining the waters red as it billows from the shark’s mouth, he still finds the strength to lift his unharmed right leg and to pull out the knife he has stuck down his boot. Weary, fearing that he does not have the strength or presence of mind to do what he needs to do, he draws back his arm and slashes through the water, embedding the blade in the shark’s gills.

It immediately releases him, slicing past him through the water as it retreats deeper in the ocean. The motion of its retreat frees Oliver’s knife and he knows that there is not time to waste, that the creature could be back at any moment or, worse, that other sharks could be nearby and racing towards the scent of the blood filling the water. Ignoring his injury, he kicks his way to the surface, taking in the fresh air as he blindly starts to move to the shore, barely aware of anything other than his desperate need to survive. This will not be how he dies. A fucking shark will not be the reason that his wife becomes a widow.

And then there is something touching his feet. Solid, hard ground. He practically drags his way to the beach, groaning out Taiana’s name to alert his companions of his return. To make them aware of how weak he is.

Taiana is not the person who comes to him. He can hear her. Both she and Vlad are yelling out his name, frightened and desperate, but their faces do not appear above him. Conklin’s does. Before he passes out, Oliver just manages to recognise that he is in deep shit.

*************************

He is vaguely aware of being dragged along a forest floor, a bloody trail left in his wake. He thinks that he can hear Taiana crying out about something, distressed. He thinks that Vlad is yelling, getting angry and he wonders briefly what exactly his friend is so mad about. He knows that he is in pain, but everything feels so hazy. Like when he would be watching a TV show with his head pillowed in Felicity’s lap and he would see a character get hurt and feel the phantom pain of that hurt in whichever of his many injuries most closely mirrored that one. It does not feel real. It does not feel like it is actually happening to him.

At some point, the small feelings breaking through his numbness changes from the rough scrape of dirt and the bumpy stab of fallen branches to the heavy press of something beneath his stomach. Holding him up. He thinks that it is Vlad’s shoulder, and the angry growls of the man stop after the change happens.

The next thing that he is aware of is sharp cold splashing across him. Water. It is water. The new pain startles him to consciousness, despite his blood loss and his eyes focus, honing in on Baron Reiter. “I’ve defended you, Mister Queen,” the man starts, his eerie eyes boring into Oliver’s dazed ones, “At the cost of my credibility with my men. No more. Just the girl? I could understand. I could even understand her brother. But both of them _and_ the maps? I’m afraid it looks a little too much like you’re staging a coup.” He turns to Conklin, who looks like his dreams are coming true, “You can kill him now. If you’d like.”

But Conklin shakes his head, that cruel glint in his eyes that Oliver has come to recognise far too well making an appearance as he grins and says, “Nah, I got something else in mind.” He gestures to his comrades and they converge on Oliver, tearing the jacket and shirt and bullet-proof vest and undershirt from his body as he sits there boneless, barely able to hold himself up let alone ward them off. He does not think of it until the undershirt is being torn from his body and the chain around his neck comes swinging free.

His ring.

His _wedding ring_.

For a moment he does not know what to do. Torn between somehow hiding it for long enough to keep anyone from seeing it at all and just letting it hang there in the hopes that he does not draw attention to it and nobody notices. He is too late. Conklin’s eyes are affixed on the bright golden circle that has bounced to a halt on Oliver’s chest. He feels his breath stop, truly fearful in a way that he has not been since Buchinsky took Felicity from their home.

“Stop!” Conklin commands his men before they can haul Oliver up and out of the tent. He stalks over, a hungry look in his eyes, “Well, well, what might this be, Queen?” he asks, reaching out to touch the ring. A burst of energy infuses Oliver, allowing him to snap out of his fear and muster up the rage that made the Starling City Vigilante so terrifying to so many criminals.

“Don’t touch that.” He spits, not wanting the one piece of his wife that he still has in this hellhole to be tainted by the man.

Conklin laughs falsely, “No need to get so snippy, Queen. Just want to know where a castaway finds the time to get married.” Oliver refuses to answer. “Where’s the wife, Queen?”

An idea comes to Oliver. It hurts on so many levels, but he cannot risk Reiter sending somebody – sending _Conklin_ – to Starling in search of Felicity. His mind fills with visions of Conklin finding Felicity and dragging her screaming to the island. Of him hurting her in every way possible. He cannot allow that to happen.

Sending a silent apology to both Felicity and his dead father, the looks Conklin in the eye, “Don’t be stupid Conklin, I don’t have a wife.”

“Where d’you get the pretty ring then?” he teases.

“Where do you think?” Oliver glares, “I pried it from my dead father’s finger to take home to my mother.” He says it as forcefully as he can, fully aware that his intimidation is undercut by the fact that he is on his knees still soaking the ground with his blood.

Conklin observes him for a moment, looking for the lie. For once, Oliver is grateful to Waller for her training. He can sell a lie just as well as the best of her spies now. Except to Felicity. “Well,” Conklin scowls, angry at the lost chance to cause Oliver more pain, “When that whip is shredding apart your flesh, you just think about how you’re never gonna see your momma again, and you’ll be even more of a failure to her.” And then he pulls the chain from Oliver’s neck, pocketing it with a cruel smirk. And Oliver knows that protesting would be futile, so he tries to ignore the feeling of his heart breaking at the sight of the man he most hates taking his one connection to Felicity away from him.

As the whip falls, pulling cries from Oliver that he is just too drained to hold in, he does think about his ring. He thinks about how he might be about to fail Felicity at the very first hurdle. He wonders how he is ever going to get back to her when he cannot keep himself from harm. He feels the bubbling of blood across his shoulders joining the stream still oozing from his side and knows that if he loses much more then that will be it for him without a blood transfusion.

He wishes that he had taken up Constantine’s offer of a ride home instead of trying to play hero. He is no hero. His actions have only made things worse, and now he is half dead and sure to be all the way there soon, and he has failed his wife.

He has failed his wife and even with as much pain as his body is in, that is what hurts the most.

Of all things, it is the tattoo that John transferred to him that saves him. He owes the man far more than he knew. As the three of them are escorted to the prison, nobody speaks except Conklin, who continues to spit insults at them to express his displeasure with Reiter’s decision to keep them alive. They are given a few days in there for Taiana and Vlad to attempt to patch Oliver up as best they can with the few resources they have. Vlad spends half of it kicking around their cell in search of an escape but Oliver has already cased every inch of these cells during his time as a guard and he knows that they are impenetrable.

*************************

The whip marks heal relatively quickly, though will still scar. Conklin’s technique was vicious but untrained and barely did any more damage than Oliver’s own onslaught had. The shark bite, on the other hand, continues to weep for days. The thing had shaken Oliver like a rag doll, biting deep and twisting its teeth around in Oliver’s abdomen in a way that has left a huge mess of damage. It has barely even begun to close up when Reiter comes for them.

He wants to know what Oliver knows about the maps, and Oliver refuses. Until he is healthier there is no escape, but he will be damned if he does not at least try to delay Reiter’s plans. The torture is just as terrible as he remembers it. The pain takes him back to the tent with Billy Wintergreen, the Amazo with Ivo, everything that happened with Slade, the way it had felt to be trapped in that warehouse after he met Felicity. With the electricity coursing through him, all thought beyond the pain melts away and his mind is no longer in the present, only aware of every other time he has been hurt like this.

And then the pain melts away. It is all replaced by Felicity. All that he can see is the darkness of his escape from the warehouse, the warmth of Felicity holding him upright, lending him some of her unlimited strength. And then even the warehouse vanishes, and suddenly he is at home. In bed with her.

Gold glints on her hand where it rests over his heart, and her lips spread into a smile as she looks up at him. “Felicity.” He whispers, looking down at her adoringly.

_Oliver._ He can see his name forming on her lips, he can see how she is starting to talk to him but he cannot hear a thing.

“Felicity?”

_I love you_ , she says, noiselessly, _I love you so much_. And then, like an echo around him, he hears her, “I’m coming.”

Then she is gone without a trace.

He wakes up with a start, back in his cell. Across the room, Taiana and Vlad are still asleep but Oliver cannot forget the feeling of Felicity’s hand. It had felt so _real_. Like she was really in his arms, like she was really with him.

Something about her telling him that she is coming, no matter how impossible it may be, makes him that much more determined. He can fight again now. It might hurt but he knows that he can. It is time to shut down Reiter and his men for good and to go home.

He has no regrets in waking up his cellmates in that moment. They have planning to do.

*************************

Unfortunately for him, his recovered ability to move does not go unnoticed by Reiter either. The very next morning, the three of them are awakened at the break of dawn. Oliver has no idea what has happened but he seems to be on a warpath. He orders Oliver up and out of the cell, slamming the door shut before Vlad or Taiana can follow, and then Conklin roughly takes hold of Oliver’s upper arm to pull him along.

As tempted as he is to question Reiter, he knows that the man is not one to share anything that he is not ready to share, and that opening his mouth will be pointless. The four of them – Oliver, Conklin, Reiter and another man who Oliver remembers sharing a shift or two with in the past – climb onto the back of a truck, Oliver sandwiched between his two guards and facing his imprisoner.

Nobody says a word.

The man whose name Oliver cannot remember looks impassive, albeit slightly nervous every time that he looks at Reiter but otherwise Oliver is under the impression that he has about as much of an idea of what is happening as Oliver does. Reiter is unreadable as he usually is. Oliver already knows that he is insane, anything could be happening. Anything. Reiter could have suddenly decided that the risk is not worth it and Oliver needs killing or he could have got it into his mind that whatever it is about the mark that Constantine gave him means that Oliver needs letting go, and they are heading to a boat that will travel straight back to Starling.

Judging by the grin that Conklin is sporting, Oliver thinks that it is probably not the latter.

They draw to a stop in the place where Oliver and John had found the artefact. Oliver looks at Reiter expectantly, waiting to hear what the purpose of this little excursion is. Reiter pulls the map that Oliver had retrieved from his pocket, unfolding it and showing Oliver.

“Mister Queen,” he starts, “This is where we are.” He points to a spot on the map that Oliver does not bother to look at. He knows where they are, he knows every inch of the island perfectly. “There is something that I am searching for. A particular… idol. I know that it is buried deep within the catacombs beneath this island and that it is protected by a force far greater than either of us could begin to imagine, but I do not know exactly where.

“I had hoped to find an easier way to do this, but my attempts have been unsuccessful. So I have decided to follow your lead.” Follow Oliver’s lead _where_? He has no idea about the catacombs. He may know the surface of the island better than he knows the city that he was raised in but he had never been down below until his excursion with Constantine. He has no idea what he would be looking for, where it would be. He knows nothing. And he is pretty sure that Reiter knows as much.

“Well, Queen?” Conklin teases, “Show us the way. Or are you actually as useless as I’ve been saying all along?”

“Where am I supposed to be leading you, Reiter?” Oliver ignores Conklin, “I have no idea what it is you’re even looking for.”

Cryptically, Reiter’s only response is “Follow your instincts.” And then he brushes past, descending underground.

*************************

Oliver is clueless as to where he is taking them. All that he knows is that he needs to get them to a place where he can gain some sort an advantage, he has no instinct guiding him anywhere except forwards. But he knows that Conklin is itching to put a bullet between his eyes, and that he needs to comply until he has a way to stop that from happening. So he keeps on walking.

His moment comes when Reiter thinks that he has seen something. Never one to remember the others around him, Reiter barges forwards, disappearing down the tunnel to investigate faster than Oliver is willing to move with his injury. The second guard races after him, clearly having been instructed to keep Reiter safe before keeping Oliver captive but Conklin stays behind.

“Faster, Queen.” He snaps.

Oliver fakes a wince, “I can’t. I’m still hurt.”

Conklin wheels around, his gun armed and aimed, “Well then if you’re still hurt maybe I should put you down like the dog you are.” The barrel hovers before Oliver’s face, not close enough to be touching but close enough for him to be able to reach it.

He seizes the opportunity. His hand snaps out, knocking the gun to the side as he dives inwards, moving himself too close for Conklin to be able to shoot. The force of his dive knocks Conklin off balance, sending him sprawling to the floor and the gun scattering away. Oliver lets the gravity take him, landing on Conklin and pinning him down as he lets his fists fly, pummelling his torturer into the ground without mercy.

Weeks ago when Conklin had last been at his mercy, it had been a choice. He had been able to decide whether to incapacitate his enemy or just hurt him and he chose to hurt him. He does not regret that decision, now he will be able to look Felicity in the eyes and tell her that he did everything that he could to get back to her but not at the cost of his soul. But now there is no choice. There are two other armed men just around the corner and the people back in that prison need this to go well. They need Oliver to succeed.

He does not hold back, he keeps going until Conklin stops twitching and then he keeps going some more. His hands are stained red when he falls back, exhausted but fully aware that he has no time to rest. The only thing that he pauses for it to reach into Conklin’s pocket. He feels cool metal against his skin and his very soul relaxes and he hangs the chain around his neck again, his connection to Felicity settling next to his rapid pulse.

Reaching out for Conklin’s fallen gun, he hauls himself up onto his feet and gathers himself, his bite screaming out at him to lie down. He takes one last look at Conklin, no regret in his heart and shoots just once. Just to be sure.

Then he starts to run, knowing that Reiter will have heard the sound and will come to investigate. He is nowhere near as fast as he knows he can be but that does not stop him, pure adrenaline and determination carrying him through the pain. A big part of him wants to turn back and make sure that Reiter is put down but he cannot risk fighting two men in his current state, and he cannot risk Reiter getting a call out to the prison before he does. Those prisoners will survive, he will not let Reiter punish him by hurting them.

He makes it to the truck and shoots again at the driver, clambering in and starting the engine just as he sees Reiter emerge from the ground. Too late. Oliver speeds away, fumbling with the radio as he goes. He gets through a signal and amplifies it, making sure that his voice will arrive loud and strong to every receiver in that prison.

“Now.” Is the only thing that he says, knowing that the word will be echoed in a dozen machines throughout the prison. Knowing that his friends will hear it.

He trusts in Taiana and Vlad’s ability to go through with their plan without him.

*************************

The camp is rioting when he gets back. Vlad and Taiana have successfully freed all of their fellow prisoners, and they are all storming through, stolen weapons in hand and fury in their hearts as they spare no mercy for the people who have been enslaving them for months.

He jumps out of the vehicle, ready to join the fight and instead finds himself face to face with the barrel of yet another gun. This one in the hands of one of his supposed allies. There are bullets flying all around them, there are people dying and hurting and now Oliver has to waste his time with somebody who he should be fighting with not against.

“What are you doing?” he growls.

“You’re one of them.” The man stammers, “You tortured my friend.”

Oliver winces. He had to do that. He hates that Conklin killed the man right after, but he had to, he needed to gain Reiter’s trust. “I’m sorry.” He says, honestly, “I really am. But I also saved Taiana and Vlad and have been working to save you all. I know that it doesn’t make up for what I did, I know that it doesn’t change Conklin killing him, but I had to do it to get us to this point.”

“How did you get free?” the man asks, distrustfully.

Oliver smiles darkly, “I killed Conklin.”

“Did it hurt?”

“I beat him with my bare hands until he stopped moving. Then I shot him in the head.” Oliver is not proud of that, but he knows that it is what the man wants to hear, he knows that it will please him. He understands why, he wanted to make everybody who ever hurt anybody he loved feel that same pain too.

And that is all that it takes. The man lowers his gun, gives Oliver a nod and re-joins the fray. Oliver follows.

*************************

The battle is bloody and people are dying on every side. It almost seems like they are making progress, like they are winning and then the reinforcements come. It feels hopeless. Oliver can feel himself bleeding from the reopened teeth marks in his stomach, he can feel his strength waning and he is surrounded by untrained once-prisoners who are trying to fight a veritable army of skilled mercenaries. He feels his hope fading and the fight draining out of him and then the plane comes.

A cargo plane. Not dissimilar to the one that he returned in. It flies overhead, and Oliver would think that it was a coincidence, that the machine will just pass them by if it were not for the black dots falling from it. For a second, Oliver thinks that Reiter has called for bombers. That he is giving up on his prisoners and men alike just to stop any from escaping. And then, instead of a bomb, it is a woman that hits the ground next to him. Dressed all in black and freeing herself from a parachute. Oliver realises that she is A.R.G.U.S. and that Waller actually came through. She did not just completely abandon him here.

With A.R.G.U.S. on their side, the battle is over in minutes. Oliver looks over at the woman as she removes her helmet, short brown hair escaping from it and she turns to meet his gaze. “Hello Mister Queen,” she looks him over and seems to approve of what she sees, “I’m Agent Michaels.” He shakes her offered hand.

“Oliver Queen.”

“Oh, I know.” She smirks and then there is another sound, another plane coming in, this one smaller and capable of landing in a nearby clearing. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Queen.” Michaels says once the plane’s engine quiets, “From somebody who is very eager to see you.”

Anything else that she says after that, Oliver does not hear. Because he looks over to the plane and watches as the hanger opens and a figure emerges. Dressed in all black like the agents, but with no helmet. Just a head of golden hair, and beautiful blue eyes looking frantically around her.

_Felicity._

Felicity is here.

Oliver had almost forgotten how beautiful she is, his dreams paling in comparison to the actual sight of her shining in the sunlight. All of the pain in his body fades away and the only thing that he knows is _her_. His Felicity. _His love_.

_BANG!_

The sound of a gun cuts through Oliver’s joy, his head snapping around to see Baron Reiter emerging from the forest, looking worse for wear and completely unhinged.

Reiter’s bullet hits, tearing through the heart of its target.

Oliver screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know... my cliffhangers are bleeding over into my WIP now too.
> 
> Next chapter: We head back a few months to Starling City where Constantine has showed up in Oliver and Felicity's home.
> 
> Stay safe and please remember that viruses don't just magically disappear so even if restrictions are lifting wherever you are, please keep practising those good social distancing and self quarantine methods that have been saving so many lives <3


	4. I will survive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity finds her way back to Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it! This is the end of Part 2. I hope that you've enjoyed it, it's been a hard one for me but I'm excited to share this with you for a lot of reasons. PLEASE READ THE END NOTES FOR MORE DETAILS.
> 
> So, without further ado, enjoy.

**Chapter IV – I will survive**

“Okay,” Felicity breathes, anticipation growing within her, “What was his message?”

“Well it was a lot of sappy mumbo jumbo, love, and I can’t be arsed to get into all of that but the gist of it was that-”

“No.” Felicity growls, “Tell me everything that he said. Word for word.”

Constantine looks disgruntled at the very thought, “I’m not doing that.” Before Felicity can protest, he continues, “How about I just show you instead?”

Felicity frowns, confused, “Show me?”

But Constantine does not answer. Instead, his eyes roll into the back of his head and he begins to chant, holding out his hand as he does. A bright light emanates from his palm, illuminating the entire room and then it starts to pulse.

Felicity’s heart quickens. That is… that is _impossible_. It is magic. The stranger in her house is doing real life _magic_. She is about to say something. To start demanding answers and asking about the physics of it or something but then she it cut short.

“… _to give this message to my wife_.” The sound of Oliver’s voice fades-in to the room, filling it up with that sound that is one of her favourites in the world. With each word, the little ball of light increases and decreases its little vibrations. “ _First of all… I need you to tell her that I love her. That’s the most important thing. Tell her that my ring is the only thing that is getting me through being away from her and that she’s my whole world._ ” Felicity’s eyes start to well up. That’s _Oliver_ , that’s the love of her life telling her that she means as much to him as he does to her. Her heart throbs, “ _She needs to know that I’m fighting like hell to come home to her because she is the most important thing in my life. My love for her is my purpose and nothing else matters. Not the mission, not Amanda Waller and her meddling, nothing else._

“ _I need you to tell her that I want nothing more than to be home with her, making her lunches and cakes and anything else that she would want and that nothing hurts more than my decision to not come back with you._ ” Pain lances through her as she thinks of him making that decision. She knows how much he loves her, how much he wants to be with her but she also knows that hidden beneath his gruff exterior is a hero, who needs to help everyone he sees in need no matter how much it may hurt him to do so. “ _But there are people here who are relying on me and I know that she would want me to do everything I can to save them even if it means being away from her for a little longer. Tell her that I’m sorry, and that when I get home I’m going to do everything in my power to make it up to her in any way that she would want._

“ _Once you’ve done that, I need you to give her some information._ ” That brings Felicity back into the moment. It reminds her where she is, and that she is with a stranger and not her husband. It reminds her that her husband is in trouble and, even if he is too stubborn to admit it, he needs her, “ _In my bag, the one in our closet with my hood in it, there is a flash drive. I need her to find that and to open it up. There are files on there containing evidence of Waller’s illegal activities. I have proof that she was behind a planned bombing of a plane to take out Chien Na Wei and I also have evidence that she held me captive and threatened the Yamashiros in order to force me into working for her, but that is only to be used if the situation is really dire._

“ _Felicity needs to use that evidence in order to keep herself safe from Waller. I need you to make it clear to her that I don’t want her getting involved. I know how much she’s going to want to help with my mission but she can’t. It’s too dangerous for her to be involved with Waller. The woman is insane. She is power hungry and she would do_ anything _to have a mind like Felicity’s under her control. Tell her that I need her to keep herself safe by any means necessary and to use the information_ only _to ensure that is possible. Tell her that for me? Please. Tell her I love her and I just want her safe._ ”

Felicity cannot decide whether to feel more love or anger at Oliver in this moment. A part of her heart breaks to think of him all alone in that place and to know that even now he is thinking of her first, loving her before anything else. But another part of her, the fiercely independent part, is furious at him. How can he ask her to sit back and wait for him to either get killed or come home? He knows that she can speed the process up, that she can be an asset and yet he still insists on wrapping her up in bubble wrap to keep safe like she is some fragile little thing. It is not going to happen. Felicity will _never_ be able to just wait around with no information for some news. She is not that kind of girl.

“Mister Constantine?” she asks, finally refocusing on the man actually present in the room with her.

“Just Constantine is fine, love.”

“Constantine, you wouldn’t happen to know where Amanda Waller is, would you?”

He smirks knowingly, “Aren’t you supposed to be staying away from her?”

“What I’m supposed to be doing is getting my husband out of whatever mess he’s in right now and, unfortunately, I know just the person who is going to be most useful in helping me achieve that.”

“Well then, I suppose we’re off to see the wicked witch herself.”

“We?”

“Oh, I think I’m definitely going to want to stick around to see this. You got a spare room?” and then he shrugs off his coat and shoes, making himself at home on her sofa.

*************************

Felicity knows that it is not polite to barge in somewhere without knocking and waiting for permission first, but she really cannot be bothered to mess around with the bureaucracy of making an appointment with the director of A.R.G.U.S. She has far more pressing matters to attend to.

As annoying as John Constantine may be, she has managed to come to an agreement with him. In return for her hospitality, spare room and (apparently) her entertainment value, he will help her out in finding Oliver. And he will not smoke in her house. Which was a secondary rule that they agreed upon after he lit up a cigarette in her living room and gave her a coughing fit.

So with a wicked combination of her hacking and his magic, they blast their way into A.R.G.U.S. headquarters, Felicity sending the place into a blackout as Constantine keeps the guards at bay. She knows exactly where she is going, a tablet displaying a map of the compound with a line directly to the woman who took her husband from her. They burn down the door to Waller’s office. Literally. Constantine puts a magical flame to the metal and it burns like dry wood would.

Of course, Amanda Waller is not one to be taken by surprise and when Felicity and Constantine enter, she is sat primly behind her desk, looking for all the world like this is a planned visit she has been awaiting. It increases Felicity’s fury tenfold.

“Missus Smoak Queen. John Constantine.” Amanda greets them.

Felicity throws down a drive, this one with only the information on Waller’s involvement in the almost-bombing of a plane filled with innocents, “I want in.” she demands, “And it’s going to happen on my terms.”

“Do you really expect me to plug something into my computer that has been given to me by a known hacker who has motive to want access to my servers?” Waller raises her eyebrow.

Felicity had expected Waller to be cautious. One does not get to be in a position like director of A.R.G.U.S. without being careful with every move that she makes. Felicity pulls out her own computer and inserts the damning piece of technology, “Here.” She thrusts the device into Waller’s face and waits for her to look it over. Unsurprisingly, Waller’s face does not change in the slightest.

“And?” the woman asks, seemingly nonplussed as she looks back up at Felicity.

“You took my husband from me. I want him back.” Waller does not get a chance to protest before Felicity continues, “I understand that he can’t be extracted right now, he’s told me as much himself, but I sure as hell can speed up the process and get him home sooner and safer, and you’re going to let me. You’re going to give me access to everything you have on whatever is happening back on that island and you’re going to let me run the response. And then as soon as Oliver is home, you’re going to leave the both of us and our families alone. Otherwise, I release this information for the entire world to see.”

Waller’s jaw ticks slightly. It is the only indication that anything Felicity is saying is getting through, “I’m not so stupid as to believe that this is the only copy of the information that you have. Nor would I believe that you don’t have something set up to release it in the event of you not returning home, but what do you expect to happen if this information _does_ get out? Because I can tell you exactly what will happen, it will get swept under a rug and nobody will ever see it. And even if anybody does manage to spot it before it is hidden away, they’ll be labelled as a conspiracy theorist. Insane. Or they just won’t believe it in the first place.”

That is not true. Felicity can tell as much by the fact that Waller reacted to her threat, “Firstly, I think you and I both know that I am more than capable of making sure that people see it. I think that you and I know that, if I wanted to, I could air out all of A.R.G.U.S.’s dirty secrets for the whole world to see. Including the fact that you exist. Secondly, even if it were to get swept aside, I think that you would still suffer for it. I’d imagine that your superiors would be less than pleased at you for putting this organisation at risk in the first place and that you would directly suffer for your actions. So, _Amanda_ , I think that if you want to keep your job and your head then you’re going to let me do what I want.”

Minutely, Waller’s jaw tightens. Felicity knows that she is winning.

“It’s not that simple.” Waller says, “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t just let some civilian IT girl walk into a major mission and take it over. It just wouldn’t work.”

“So you make me a consultant. I’ll come in, heavily consult on Oliver’s mission and I’ll even look over some others if you want me to. I may be a pain in your neck, Waller, but even you have to know what a valuable asset I would be. The fact that I _am_ a pain in your neck in the first place is proof of that.”

Waller looks thoughtfully at Felicity for a moment. “I let you consult. You run the Lian Yu Shadowspire operation. In return, you consult on whatever I ask you to.”

“Three.” Felicity asserts, “I’ll consult on whatever you ask me to three times, and only as long as the mission will not end in the murder of hundreds of innocents just to kill one person. I won’t be your little pet forever. You get me three times. Oliver’s operation is one of them, you get two more. That’s my offer.”

Waller’s eyes narrow and Felicity can tell that she wants to protest, but she must recognise something in Felicity. Something that tells her that Felicity is unwilling to bend on that particular condition. Felicity knows what Waller is like, she knows that letting Waller use her for whatever she wants whenever she wants will not end well and, as much as she wants to keep Oliver safe, she knows that there are some lines she will not cross. She cannot and will not risk Waller taking her from Oliver the minute that she gets him back.

Whatever it is on Felicity’s face that Waller sees must convey all of that because she gives a curt nod, “Deal.”

*************************

They waste no time in getting started. Waller instructs Felicity to follow her and Constantine trails behind like the magical bodyguard Felicity has made of him. Waller, as usual, is silent as they walk, offering nothing in the way of information. Felicity actually manages to keep her babble under control, something about the stress of the situation making her brain-to-mouth filter actually work for once so that she can stop herself from revealing anything to Waller that she does not want to.

But Constantine does not seem to pick up on the mood of his companions. Felicity realises that he rarely does. The three of them walk the halls of A.R.G.U.S. to the sound of him offering his unwanted opinions on everything from the events of the last few minutes (that Felicity is badass and something of a turn on, which Felicity glares at him for), to the magical improvements that could be made to the building and how he would be an excellent consultant for such an undertaking (when Waller glares at him, Felicity finds herself actually agreeing with the woman for the first time ever).

They reach a heavy, high security door somewhere in the deepest regions of the building. The entire aesthetic of the hallway is straight out of a horror movie. It is all bright, artificial lighting and sleek metal. Unmarked, emotionless and cold. Felicity feels like she is about to be locked up somewhere that she will never be found. Actually, she knows that she would be if it were not for her very real threat to bring Amanda Waller’s life crashing down around her. She is sure that Waller would like nothing more in this moment.

As she pulls out her identification, Waller informs Felicity that she will need to be escorted anywhere she goes if she wants to be able to get in and out. Felicity tries her hardest not to scoff at that. It is like Waller is intentionally trying to ignore the fact that Felicity is more than capable of getting into and out of _any_ place that she wants. Especially with her newfound backup on hand. But she plays along, letting Waller have and think what she wants now that Felicity has everything that she needs.

Behind the door – which is secured by both an ID and a biometric lock, which is really not an issue for Felicity as she has already hacked the details of Waller’s biometrics from the A.R.G.U.S. files – there is a bustle of activity. Maybe just over half a dozen people are milling about, all engaged in various activities. A few are concentrating on their monitors, one or two seem to be standing guard and one, stood right in the centre of the room, is looking all around herself, observing it all. She is fairly short, with cropped brown hair framing her face which is wearing a stern, commanding expression that immediately lets Felicity know exactly who is in charge. It is the same look that she has seen on Waller.

The assumption is confirmed when Waller completely ignores every other person in the room, making a beeline for the woman.

“Agent Michaels,” Waller addresses the woman, “This is Felicity Smoak Queen, Oliver Smoak Queen’s wife.” Felicity bristles a little at being referred to as Oliver’s wife like that is her only defining attribute. She _is_ his wife. She is _proud_ to be his wife because she loves and treasures him, but her purpose and value at A.R.G.U.S. is definitely not in that capacity. Even if her reason for getting involved is because she wants him home safe.

Agent Michaels, to Felicity’s delight, seems almost as annoyed at Waller for her introduction of Felicity as Felicity is and she gives the Director a disapproving frown as she turns to Felicity, “Felicity, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m Lyla Michaels, I’m the agent in charge of the operation that your husband was recruited for.”

“You’re the agent in charge?” the warmth that Felicity had felt at Agent Michaels’ reaction to Waller vanishes. Was she wrong? Was it actually _this_ woman who stole Oliver from his home and not Waller? “So was it your decision to… _recruit_ Oliver?”

Michaels’ chin jerks almost involuntarily, her eyes darting to Waller before she explains, “I did not specifically request for Mister Queen to be recruited.” And that is all of the explanation that Felicity needs. Agent Michaels had nothing to do with it being specifically Oliver who was recruited. That was all on Waller, who clearly hates Oliver. What Oliver did to specifically anger Waller so much, Felicity has no idea but she does know that whatever it was has led to her becoming almost vindictive where he is concerned, to the extent that she seems to hate Felicity too, just by association.

It is like they have some sort of a rivalry. There is something about Waller’s attitude that lets Felicity know that, even as Waller looks down her nose at Felicity, she still respects her. But no matter how much respect she commands from Amanda Waller, Felicity knows to be constantly vigilant around anyone with any ties to the woman.

“Ah.” Felicity acknowledges, “Well, this is John Constantine. He is my…” she debates how to finish that sentence, giving Constantine a chance to leap in.

“Housemate.” He reaches out to shake Lyla’s hand.

“Associate.” Felicity corrects.

“Business partner.”

“Bodyguard, really.”

“I’m a sorcerer, not some jumped up muscle head with a gun!” he protests.

“Okay, well I suppose annoyance _is_ a better term for your imposition on my life.” Felicity teases.

“Enough.” Waller says, having no time for their bickering, “Michaels, Felicity has taken it upon herself to take charge of the Lian Yu operation. You can figure out how that is going to work out. I needn’t remind you that Missus Smoak Queen is something of an… asset to A.R.G.U.S. so I expect you to ensure her safety at all times.” And then she is gone, without so much as a goodbye.

“You managed to get her to let you _lead_ the operation? How did you manage that?” Michaels asks, awed.

“I blackmailed her. Look, Agent Michaels-”

“Lyla. Anybody brave enough to blackmail Amanda Waller and get away with it has my respect.”

“Lyla. Okay, Lyla, I don’t mean to impose on whatever you’re doing here. I promised Waller that you could take advantage of my expertise and in exchange, I get to make the decisions where Oliver is concerned. That’s all I want.”

“We can work with that.” Lyla nods, “Okay, I think we’d better get you caught up.”

*************************

There is not much to catch Felicity up on, in the end. Her hacking had unearthed most of the details pertaining to Oliver, who is still yet to check in, but there is a lot going on around that and very little of it makes sense.

The organisation under investigation is run by a man named Baron Reiter. It is called Shadowspire – hence the operation name. From what Felicity can tell, they produce and distribute a drug called slam and Lian Yu is their selection for production location. Oliver’s experience on Lian Yu is what had put him in Waller’s sights for recruitment.

Beyond the organisation having roots in the US army, there is not much that Felicity can see about it that would garner such attention from Waller. There are plenty of much larger drug operations across the globe that she has not dedicated a taskforce to taking down. And that, combined with the fact that they have chosen Lian Yu of all places to grow their product, even though it is a difficult location for agricultural success to be possible, is what leads Felicity to the conclusion that there is something else going on.

She has no idea what, and trying to figure it out with Constantine’s voice constantly chirping complaints of boredom in her ear is near impossible, but there is definitely _something_. Something that she thinks even Lyla does not know about. Just whoever is behind Shadowspire and, obviously, Amanda Waller.

Felicity intends to be the next to find out.

*************************

It is well into the morning when she and Constantine arrive back at her and Oliver’s home. Watching him retreat into the room that had been Oliver’s is so strange. It feels wrong, but Felicity knows that Oliver would approve of her taking the appropriate measures to ensure her safety. Especially as she is doing the exact opposite of what he would want in provoking Waller.

Felicity struggles to sleep, for once caught up not in thoughts of Oliver so much as thoughts of the new mystery she has uncovered. Which, admittedly, has a lot to do with Oliver, but he is not the main focus for a change. There is something more going on, she just knows it, and she has a sneaking suspicion that it is specifically to do with Lian Yu, which puts Oliver in even more danger thanks to his knowledge of the island. The amount that he knows about that place must be unparalleled by anyone still alive. It makes him a valuable resource which, hopefully, will help keep him alive. But it also makes him a sought out resource amongst all of the Amanda Wallers and Baron Reiters of the world. And that is what worries Felicity.

The other thing that worries her is that Oliver still has not checked in. It could mean anything, really, but the two most likely options are that he has already been discovered and is unable to due to his cover being blown or that he has been killed. Felicity intends to find out, and then she plans to bring him home. To her, to his city, to his family. He has earnt his peace, his happiness.

Her alarm goes off before she has even had a wink of sleep but it is more of a relief than anything. She was never going to get to sleep. She is so keyed up on adrenaline, on a need to do something that she will not be able to sleep until she gets it done.

She slides out of bed, simultaneously exhausted and energised and makes her way to the kitchen. Even though Oliver has been gone for months, she still has all of the healthy cereals that he insisted on and she cannot bring herself to get her preferred sugary ones. Every time she thinks about it, she can hear Oliver ranting about the additives in them. It is a silly thing for her to be so caught up on, she definitely has not been eating healthy Oliver-approved home cooking since he was taken, but she cannot bring herself to change it.

Constantine is never awake before midday, so she is able to slip out and go to work uninterrupted. She and Lyla worked out that she could do her regular work all day and head into A.R.G.U.S. after, like she used to do when she was acting as a vigilante’s tech support, but that means that her investigation into QC’s corruption will have to take a backseat once again. But Oliver is more important. She can figure out what is happening at the company she works for when he is safe and sound, by her side.

It makes work dull. She struggles to focus on anything all day, completely consumed by thoughts of Baron Reiter and his connection to Waller. Or what mutual interest might be leading them both to be interested in Lian Yu once again. Until she gets a message through on her phone. From an unknown number.

Then she remembers. Malie. The girl who Oliver had saved, and the little girl she has taken in, Sin. They want to meet up with her over the weekend. And as much as Felicity wants to throw her every spare moment into Shadowspire, she made a promise to those girls that she intends to keep. So she plans to keep it.

*************************

They make little progress on the operation through the week. No news comes in about Oliver’s status and there is no way to get information from the island itself that anybody can find without him. By the weekend, Felicity is already frustrated at the amount of dead ends they have hit, and Lyla reassuring her that they have been getting through the work much faster with her there has not been helping. Neither has Constantine’s penchant for wandering around in his underwear.

The planned visit to Malie and Sin’s place is a relief more than anything. Felicity is excited to spend an hour with two normal, non-magical, non-special agent people.

Malie lives in a tiny place in a rough area of the Glades. The place is barely big enough for her, let alone her and a preteen girl but she seems happy. It is a marked difference to how Oliver had described the girls he saved. Felicity wishes that he could be here to see the positive impact he has had on these lives. To see how him making the tough decisions and taking the burden of fighting back onto his own shoulders has paid off.

For fifteen minutes, the two of them just talk and Felicity almost manages to forget everything else beyond the kind girl she is sat with. Sin does not make an appearance and when Felicity asks, Malie sighs, “Sin is being… difficult. She insists that she doesn’t need school or a tutor. She doesn’t trust easily and I’m pretty sure she’s going to be as difficult as possible with you. Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologise.” Felicity laughs, “I get it. Maybe if we just give it a go and see if I can get her to warm up to me?”

“It’s worth a shot. But please, don’t get your hopes up. She can be very stubborn when she sets her mind to something.”

Malie shows Felicity which door is to Sin’s bedroom and lets her in. There is a bed in the corner of the room and little else beyond some books. On the bed is a small dark haired girl, eyes closed as she listens to some music. Malie moves forwards and switches the music off, effectively getting the younger girl’s attention.

  
“Hey!” Sin protests, scowling at Malie.

“Sin, you remember I told you about Felicity? Well she’s here to meet you and set up a schedule that will work for all of us.”

Sin spares a fleeting glance at Felicity, “Okay, how’s this? I’m free every second of never, will that work?”

Malie’s sigh is what prompts Felicity to intervene, “I don’t know. You look pretty free right now to me.”

“Look, I don’t need some stupid tutor. I’m fine, school is overrated.”

“School isn’t for everyone.” Felicity agrees, “But there are some things that everyone should know. I just want to help make sure that you know them.”

“Well I figured out how to break out of a police precinct all by myself, so I think I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. Well then,” Felicity makes a decision. It is risky, it could completely destroy her chances of ever getting Sin to listen to her, but she thinks that the chances of that happening are pretty slim anyway. It will take something extreme to get through to her, and Felicity knows exactly what kind of thing would have forced her into doing something when she was thirteen, “I’ll just leave you here and you can spend the rest of your life making Malie pay for the roof over your head and the food you’re eating because you can’t get a job. That’s fine by me.”

She turns to leave, still checking Sin out of one corner of her eye. It works, “Hey! That’s not fair. As soon as I’m old enough I’ll get a job and pay Malie back, it’s just because I’m too young!”

“While I’m sure Malie would never ask for a penny back from you, I’m also sure that you’ll struggle to get a decent job if you don’t have the education. That’s the way the world works, Sin. If you want to be independent one day, you have to study and if you want that studying to be effective, you need a tutor.”

“Why would you offer to do that for free though?” And that is the crux of the matter. The real reason that Sin is being so difficult is not because she wants to make anybody’s life hard, or because she does not want to learn. It is because she cannot trust in somebody who would offer anything for free. Felicity’s heart breaks a little to think that this girl already has such a negative view on the world at such a young age.

“I guess you’ll have to work that out for yourself.” Is all that she says, hoping that Sin has enough curiosity to make that work.

It takes a minute, but eventual Sin says, “Okay, I’ll do it.”

And just like that, Felicity has four hours a week of tutoring and extra time to grade the work that she sets Sin that can take her mind off the mess that is her life.

*************************

Months pass with little progress. The only thing that they discover that Felicity can be sure of is that Oliver is still alive. Waller refuses to give permission for them to send a team to Lian Yu as long as the operation is still potentially ongoing, but Felicity manages to design a subtle device that is able to make the journey to the island and that has just enough power to give her access to the electronics Shadowspire is using there for her to hear Oliver’s voice arguing with someone.

It is not much, and she has no idea how much his situation has changed since that one occurrence months ago because Waller does not want to risk the mission by sending another one, but it is enough.

After she has confirmed Oliver’s safety, she spends most of her time looking into Reiter. There is not much to find, and what there is has been hidden behind layers upon layers of encryption but she is able to discover enough to build up a picture of his operation, but she still cannot figure out his motivation for being on Lian Yu.

When she informs Lyla – who has started to become a friend in the hours that they have spent talking to one another about their lives – of her findings, the woman pales. As it turns out, Shadowspire has a link to somebody called Andrew Diggle, who just happens to be the brother of Lyla’s ex – John Diggle. Lyla tries to write it off as a coincidence, but Felicity can tell that there is something more going on. Out of respect for Lyla, she lets it go, but she intends to come back to it if it ever becomes necessary.

Constantine quickly grew bored and has been in and out of Felicity’s life ever since. He often vanishes without a trace for weeks on end and then returns with new stories and a fresh load of money to check up on Felicity. She has grown somewhat fond of him. For as much of a pain as he can be, she thinks that he has a secret heart of gold hidden under there and it shows in the way that he tries so hard to hide the fact that he has grown just as fond of her.

Her visits to Malie and Sin, who is actually incredibly intelligent and has a thirst for knowledge that she would be mortified to admit to anyone, are the only light part of her life left. She and Malie have grown close, the two girls bonding fast and Sin has become like a little niece or cousin to her. She is pretty sure that Sin actually secretly likes her too.

*************************

But progress does eventually come. All at once, everything that she and Lyla have spent months searching for comes to light. They find the supply line that Reiter is feeding into, they find the branches of his operation and the way that it works. They find everything. And then Waller greenlights her to send another probe to the island so that they can prepare to take Shadowspire down. For good.

What they hear causes some of the hardest few minutes that Felicity has ever endured. Reiter is asking questions of somebody, threatening them and then, when there is no answer, the screams start.

_Oliver’s screams_.

He is in _agony_ , whatever they are doing to him is causing him more pain than Felicity can ever remember him being in and Felicity knows that there are tears rolling uncontrollably down her cheeks, but she cannot stop it. Her husband is being tortured. _She is listening to her husband being tortured_. And Felicity has no idea how long he has been being tortured for before she got audio. All that she knows is that she has been too slow to save him from that pain.

The guilt is crushing and the only sensations that she is aware of are the sounds of Oliver’s pain and the suffocating feel of knowing that it is all her fault. She should have worked harder. She should have insisted that Waller let her go in and get him back. She should never have let him stay and complete the mission.

_She has to get him back_.

The thought brings her back into focus. It makes her aware of Lyla lending her strength in the form of her hand on Felicity’s arm. It reminds her that now there is something that she can do. She is no longer powerless. She can save him.

*************************

It takes them just a week to prepare the infiltration and takedown across the globe. To Felicity, that is still too long.

Miraculously, Constantine reappears in her life the night after they start preparation. When she tells him about everything that has happened, she can barely keep the tears at bay. She must look awful, because he actually empathises with her for once. That is new, he usually keeps all emotions larger than bemused to himself.

“I have an idea.” He announces, “Lie back.” Felicity has known him long enough to know that she should just do as he says, so she complies without a word.

He starts to chant, his eyes glowing as he does, the room filling with swirling tendrils of magic. Felicity will never get over it, seeing him work and watching magic come to life beneath his fingertips. The fact that magic is real is still a hard one to come to terms with.

His hand is surrounded by those glowing tendrils and he reaches out with it to touch a fingertip to her forehead.

The next thing that she knows, she is with Oliver. They are in a familiar position, with her head resting on his firm chest and his arm wrapped tightly around her to keep her close. Their legs are tangled together beneath the bedsheets, warm and comfortable. This is _home_. She has a hand securely over his heart, feeling the reassuring beat of it beneath her fingertips and for the first time in months, she is relaxed.

She looks up at him and sees him mouthing her name. _Felicity_.

“Oliver.” She says back, relief in every syllable.

_Felicity?_

He looks confused, and as much as she is too, she needs him to know, “I love you. I love you so much.” She tells him, “I’m coming.” And she does not know how, but somehow she feels that he heard her. That he knows. She is coming for him.

She snaps back to life.

“What… what was that?” she pants, looking around at her home where, instead of her husband, she is faced with Constantine.

“I just connected your mind to his briefly. Whatever you just experienced, he did too.”

“He did?” her eyes are wide, hopeful.

“Yes.”

“Good.” _Oliver knows_.

*************************

Constantine refuses to go back to Lian Yu with them. He claims that there is something there that was dark and tempting. Too tempting for him. That peaks Felicity’s interest. If there is something powerful on the island that Constantine was sensing, then maybe that has something to do with Reiter and Waller’s interest in the place.

But, before he leaves, he gifts her a necklace, telling her to stay safe and that he hopes to see her and Oliver again one day. He could just mean that he is looking forwards to their return, but something tells Felicity that it is more. She gets the feeling that she will not be seeing him again for a good long time.

The thought does not stay with her for long as she is soon consumed by the mission. She is mere hours away from seeing the love of her life again. But she has no idea what state he will be in when she gets there.

She is instructed by Lyla to get on a different, smaller plane to everybody else. She is to run comms whilst the field agents head out ahead on the cargo plane so that she is not placed in danger. After all, she is one of Waller’s _assets_. Nobody is willing to risk her precious little head. Unfortunately for her, that means that she is going to be riding in with Waller. She ignores the woman in favour of preparing a drone to travel ahead and get the lay of the land before the agents arrive.

The entire ride is hell, the fear and anticipation built up inside her after months of separation is agonising and those last few hours feel worse than the entire length of time since the day that she first met Amanda Waller did combined. When she finally deploys the drone, she is shocked. There are people, dressed in ratty, regular clothing fighting back against the mercenaries working for Reiter. It is a full on battle on the island as the people, who Felicity realises are some sort of captives of Reiter’s, rise up against him and his reign. But there is no sight of Oliver anywhere.

And then the agents land and the first person that Lyla comes into contact with is _Oliver_. Oliver. _Alive_. He looks like a mess but he is _alive_. The only thing that stops Felicity from crying is the calculating glare coming from Waller.

It takes no time for the agents to overwhelm the mercenaries. For Felicity’s plane to arrive on the island. For it to land.

And then she is stepping out into the sunlight. She looks around, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of her husband and then, just as her eyes find him, so beautiful even with the blood covering him and his eyes wild-

_BANG!_

Her eyes have just enough time to widen before her heart explodes in searing agony.

She is on the floor. That much she is aware of. Her chest hurts. It hurts a lot. She cannot think of a time when she has ever been in more pain. Everything between her neck and her abdomen feels like it has been shattered and crushed and imploded in the most painful possible way.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Something (someone?) is roaring, like they are in pain. Felicity thinks that she is supposed to be in pain too, but everything is growing so numb that she cannot be sure. The only thing that she can really feel are hands on her body, pulling her over something. The only thing that she can really hear is the desperate sound of somebody begging, “ _Felicity, Felicity, Felicity_.” She thinks it is coming from above her somewhere.

Burning.

Not the same as before, a different kind, coming from her neck and travelling down to where the first burning is. It is a good burn. It hurts but it feels nice. Like at the end of exercise but more intense. Felicity thinks that she might be dying. But then she thinks that dying should not be so satisfying. The pain of death should not hurt so nicely. But it does.

But then the burning starts to disappear. The good burning and the bad burning both receding from her heart in tandem, making her feel whole again. She is loved. She knows that. She remembers it. She feels it in the strong arms – _yes, they are arms_ \- that are holding her tightly. She feels it in the loving way that he says, “ _Felicity?_ ”. She sees it in the blue eyes, looking down on her like she is a miracle come to life.

Her body is hoisted upright, pressed against his as closely as possible as he sobs, “You’re okay. You’re okay.” Into her hair over and over again.

The world is still spinning a little bit, but she is able to remember who and where she is. She remembers her love for the man holding her like she is his lifeline, “Oliver?” she asks, her arms regaining their strength and wrapping around him, “Oliver?” she starts to cry.

“Felicity.” _Home_. He is her home.

His lips touch hers, and all is right in the world again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!
> 
> ... of Part 2.
> 
> COMING SOON: The Light in the Darkness Part 3.
> 
> That's right, I made some promises way back in Under Different Circumstances that I intend to keep but this was always the plan. PoH was a hard one for me because, full disclosure, it's my least favourite part of the series but we're through it now and I for one cannot wait for what happens next!
> 
> Part 3 will explain how Felicity survived (you can probably guess though) as well as what is coming next for these two. I hope to see you all there too <3 thank you to everyone who's stuck with me through the chaos of this one and for all of the kudos and comments and everything. You guys are the best.

**Author's Note:**

> You have probably noticed that this is going to be a shorter one, only 4 chapters. There are a lot of things that some of you have let me know you're excited to see in this universe and I want you to know that we are getting there and I'm also impatient for it, it's just that our favourite duo has some things to get through before that can happen.
> 
> I'm on twitter [@MagusLibera](https://twitter.com/MagusLibera).


End file.
